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a/d TV, newspaper and magazines pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. v.1

a/d TV, newspaper and magazines pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. v. 1
All people around the world want a well-paying job; however, job market in a part of characteristics, which need to find such workplace, is implicit. Since all companies search differently, thereby in one place need a more qualified worker, whereas another demands a more experienced employee. Therefore people, who is searching a well-paying job, divided into two camps, although, I think, for this workplace needs experience and qualification equally. Firstly, few people can deny the fact that a highly qualified person is not enough for some work area, so they salary will grow with experience. For example, professions related to sick people there qualification does not give fully understanding all nuances of a job. Moreover, all companies have specific details that are not covered when receive qualification because there only general rules. Thus, even the highest qualified person has problems with receiving of a good job. Nonetheless, experience without qualification has limited options to find a well-paying job too, because in some area without foundation people cannot properly work. For instance, architects or financial analysts would have to know share basis for implementing it for a job. Furthermore, experience gives you much knowledge that not always are legal and right because not all that companies do is correctly. Consequently, people for well-paying job need not only experience, but also qualification for proper work. To conclude, well-paying job is an achievement that gain best of the best workers, in my opinion. Likewise, qualification is closely linked with experience because often people without diploma cannot begin to work, as a result cannot will grow in a well-paying job.
All
people
around the world want a well-paying
job
;
however
,
job
market in a part of characteristics, which
need
to find such workplace, is implicit. Since all
companies
search
differently
, thereby in one place
need
a more qualified worker, whereas another demands a more experienced employee.
Therefore
people
, who is searching a well-paying
job
, divided into two camps, although, I
think
, for this workplace
needs
experience
and
qualification
equally
.

Firstly
, few
people
can deny the fact that a
highly
qualified person is not
enough
for
some
work area,
so
they salary
will grow with
experience
.
For example
, professions related to sick
people
there
qualification
does not give
fully
understanding all nuances of a
job
.
Moreover
, all
companies
have specific
details
that are not covered when receive
qualification
because
there
only
general
rules
.
Thus
, even the highest qualified person has problems with receiving of a
good
job.

Nonetheless,
experience
without
qualification
has limited options to find a well-paying
job
too,
because
in
some
area without foundation
people
cannot
properly
work.
For instance
, architects or financial analysts would
have to
know share basis for implementing it for a
job
.
Furthermore
,
experience
gives you much knowledge that not always are legal and right
because
not all that
companies
do is
correctly
.
Consequently
,
people
for well-paying
job
need
not
only
experience
,
but
also
qualification
for proper work.

To conclude
, well-paying
job
is an achievement that gain best of the best workers, in my opinion.
Likewise
,
qualification
is
closely
linked with
experience
because
often
people
without diploma cannot
begin
to work,
as a result
cannot will grow in a well-paying
job
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay a/d TV, newspaper and magazines pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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