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Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promoting and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their product. What problem does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v.1

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promoting and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their product. What problem does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 1
Big companies have huge budgets for advertising and fostering which incline general public towards purchasing their merchandise. This essay will discuss the two main issues that result from this trend, including death of local businesses and expensive products. It will also suggest two solutions to this and how individuals can be encouraged to go for domestic goods including low rates and more incentives. Imported items are making local business vanish. In addition, there prices are high too. It is difficult for a common man, who works at a minimum wage, to buy good quality stock. Domestic merchants fail to compete with these large industries, which have unlimited funding, which results in a great setback for countries economy. To illustrate, Foodpanda, a huge food delivery company acquired Eatoye, a startup with the same operation, making delivery cost higher. Hence, major corporations make life uneasy for general public and companies. Governments should monitor the selling of products. Locally manufactured goods should be available for a cheaper price compared to imported items. Furthermore, there should be different discounts and other deals on these. For example, a locally produced detergent, Bonus, is 50 percent cheaper than Ariel, which is an international product. Therefore, decreased pricing and other rewards will increase the sale of national merchandises. In conclusion, large firms have outclassed small ones in terms of their sale because of heavy funding in their marketing and expediting departments. This essay discussed the two main problems it causes, including closure of national industry and increased prices. It also suggested the solutions to these issues and to promote the purchase of domestic goods are twofold: reduced prices and other compensations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have huge budgets for advertising and fostering which incline
Consider using "public".
general public
towards purchasing their merchandise. This essay will discuss the two main issues that result from this trend, including death of local businesses and expensive products. It will
also
suggest two solutions to this and how individuals can
be encouraged
to go for domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
including low rates and more incentives.

Imported items are making local business vanish.
In addition
, there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are high too. It is difficult for a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, who works at a minimum wage, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality stock. Domestic merchants fail to compete with these large industries, which have unlimited funding, which results in a great setback for countries economy. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Foodpanda
, a huge food delivery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
acquired
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eatoye
, a startup with the same operation, making delivery cost higher.
Hence
, major corporations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life uneasy for
Consider using "public".
general public
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should monitor the selling of products.
Locally
manufactured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
should be available for a cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
compared to imported items.
Furthermore
, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
discounts and other deals on these.
For example
, a
locally
produced detergent, Bonus, is 50 percent cheaper than Ariel, which is an international product.
Therefore
, decreased pricing and other rewards will increase the sale of national merchandises.

In conclusion
, large firms have outclassed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
ones in terms of their sale
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of heavy funding in their marketing and expediting departments. This essay discussed the two main problems it causes, including closure of national industry and increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
. It
also
suggested the solutions to these issues and to promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are twofold:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
and other compensations.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promoting and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their product. What problem does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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