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Many people nowadays do not feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons? What can we do to solve this problem? v.1

Many people nowadays do not feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons? What can we do to solve this problem? v. 1
These days, individuals have many uneasy worries whether they are at home or out. There are many causes of this problem but there are still solutions to solve them. There are two main reasons that make people feel afraid when they are at home or on the street. The first reason is that the increasing crime rate has contributed to making the whole society face many challenges. Unlike before when anyone going out they were very worried whether someone followed and robbed their property or even harmed their lives which led to people obsessing over each and every one when working or going out alone. The second reason criminals operate is increasingly sophisticated and they use different ways to attack and hijack victims’ property. For instance, many burglars who have broken into the house anesthetized the homeowners and then to rob most of the money, other valuable property in the house without leaving any trespasses of them. As a result, the police are unable to catch them and it is likely that the thieves will continue with other burglaries. However, there are some solutions that the government and police force can apply to mitigate these problems. The first measure is that the government should install more cameras at the roads with many criminal activities to ensure that people can walk or work across and through these facilities, the authorities have can better monitor active criminals. Secondly, people have to be conscious of protecting themselves when going out such as they should not go out alone after 10 pm, ought not to wear much valuable jewelry when going out, and when at home, the households should lock doors carefully before going to bed. Finally, the local police forces should patrol regularly at night to ensure that criminals no longer appear to be guilty. In conclusion, there are many factors that make society more stressful and this makes people feel unsafe whether at home or when outside. However, local governments and police would have some ways to overcome these problems.
These days, individuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
uneasy worries whether they are at home or out. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes of this problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
still
solutions to solve them.

There are two main reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel afraid when they are at home or on the street. The
first
reason is that the increasing crime rate has contributed to making the whole society face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges. Unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
when anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "goes", "went".
going
out they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
worried whether someone followed and robbed their property or even harmed their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
which led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
obsessing over
Consider using "each one".
each and every one
when working or going out alone. The second reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
operate is
increasingly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sophisticated and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to attack and hijack victims’ property.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
burglars who have broken into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
anesthetized the homeowners and then to rob most of the money, other valuable property in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
without leaving any trespasses of them.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
are unable to catch them and it is likely that the thieves will continue with other burglaries.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
force can apply to mitigate these problems. The
first
measure is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should install more cameras at the roads with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can walk or work across and through these facilities, the authorities have can better monitor active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be conscious of protecting themselves when going out such as they should not go out alone after 10 pm, ought not to wear much valuable jewelry when going out, and when at home, the households should lock doors
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to bed.
Finally
, the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
forces should patrol
regularly
at night to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
no longer appear to be guilty.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
society more stressful and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel unsafe whether at home or when outside.
However
, local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to overcome these problems.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people nowadays do not feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons? What can we do to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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