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People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to the modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to the modern buildings. v. 1
Nowadays, these are several old buildings that had been discovered. Some experts believe that we should knock down these buildings and avoid from the crowd, while I believe that it is better to allow people to travel and see these amazing buildings. People agree to be locked down these historical buildings for plenty of reasons. Firstly, it is easier to protect and maintain these buildings from being knocked down. For example, parts of some buildings might have been destroyed because some natural diseases, so historians some time would suggest owners to knock down the places to keep it safe. Moreover, historians can do some research inside the buildings without destruction. They don't need to worry about a number of irrelevant people came and disturb them. However, there is still a huge amount of benefits for being open to the public. Those buildings have a lot of educational functions. People can travel these historical castles personally, which can help them to learn and understand deeply about the culture and the history of that era. Secondly, the location of those buildings might become a popular tourist distances, which can increase the economic and development of that city. For example, there is one of the most popular distance in Taipei called Song Shan creativity Park, which is rebuilt from the old factory that built in 1990. Hence, opening for people to visit not only can have some educational meanings, but can help these old buildings transforms to better ways. In conclusion, although there are some advantages for being closed to the public, it is better to keep people to travel. Not only can help us to get more knowledges from our own, but also can increase the reputation and status of the cities. It is significant to think that how to protect and redecorate these older buildings.
Nowadays, these are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that had
been discovered
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts believe that we should knock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and avoid from the crowd, while I believe that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these amazing buildings.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
be locked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
these historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons.
Firstly
, it is easier to protect and maintain these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
from
being knocked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
.
For example
, parts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
might have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
natural diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
historians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time would suggest owners to knock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
the places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it safe.
Moreover
, historians can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
without destruction. They don't need to worry about a number of irrelevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
came and disturb them.

However
, there is
still
a huge amount of benefits for being open to the public. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
educational functions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can travel these historical castles
personally
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to learn and understand
deeply
about the culture and the history of that era.
Secondly
, the location of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
might become a popular tourist distances, which can increase the economic and development of that city.
For example
, there is one of the most popular
Please check whether a plural form of 'distance' should be used.
distance
in Taipei called Song Shan creativity Park, which is rebuilt from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
factory that built in 1990.
Hence
, opening for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational meanings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
transforms to better ways.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for
being closed
to the public, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can increase the reputation and status of the cities. It is significant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that how to protect and redecorate these older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to the modern buildings. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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