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The advent of the internet has made it it possible for people to work from home. Do you feel this working arrangement has more advantages or disadvantages? Share personal experiences In your essay. v.1

The advent of the internet has made it it possible for people to work from home. Do you feel this working arrangement has more advantages or disadvantages? Share personal experiences In your essay. v. 1
Working in the 21st century is immensely facilitated by the emergence of the World Wide Web. This has made work from the comfort of one’s living space a possibility. I believe the pro's outweigh the con's. This essay will discuss the many benefits of working from your own house. In addition to this, touch on the easily manageable drawbacks. On the one hand, one’s work outcome is enhanced when they are comfortable. Alternatively, this set up stimulates creativity and hard work because when one is in their comfort zone they have decreased stress levels. Moreover, stress is directly related to decreased productivity. For example, I find that I attain better exam results when I am relaxed in my residence studying from my room as opposed to studying in a library or working space. Secondly, through this set up, the inconvenience of transportation is eliminated. This is because, some people spend hours commuting back and forth every day. Regardless, with the ease of communication and requirement for just a wifi connection, the need for transport is deemed unessential. Therefore, time wasted on travel is substituted by actual work and productivity. For example, from personal experience, my job was a two hour commute away from where I lived and I found that if I stayed at home and performed my task I would be more accomplished. On the other hand, a negating effect of all these great positives is that face to face interaction is diminished. This results in a sense of detachment from the workplace. Consequently, this loss of interaction leads to mis-communication and distance between employer and employee, which is essential in ensuring a functional, cooperative working environment. However, this could easily be overcome by great online applications for instance, Facetime and Skype, which allow the user to virtually communicate through the web, with more than one connection at a time. In conclusion, I believe working from home is more advantageous as it facilitates people to flourish in the workforce through the eradication of modern day barriers such as difficultly travelling to and from the workplace. As well as, the amplification of talent through eradication of stress. In the future, working from where you live should be an available option at all business’s.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
in the 21st century is
immensely
facilitated by the emergence of the World Wide Web. This has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from the comfort of one’s living space a possibility. I believe the pro's outweigh the con's. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
In addition
to this, touch on the
easily
manageable drawbacks.

On the one hand, one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outcome
is enhanced
when they are comfortable.
Alternatively
, this set up stimulates creativity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when one is in their comfort zone they have decreased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is
directly
related to decreased productivity.
For example
, I find that I attain better exam results when I
am relaxed
in my residence studying from my room as opposed to studying in a library or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
space.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
this set up, the inconvenience of transportation
is eliminated
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend hours
Consider using "commuting".
commuting back and forth
every day. Regardless, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of communication and requirement for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
connection, the need for transport
is deemed
unessential.
Therefore
, time wasted on travel
is substituted
by actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and productivity.
For example
, from personal experience, my job was a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "two-hour"
two hour
commute away from where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
and I found that if I stayed at home and performed my task I would be more accomplished.

On the other hand
, a negating effect of all these great positives is that face to face interaction
is diminished
. This results in a sense of detachment from the workplace.
Consequently
, this loss of interaction leads to
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis-communication
and distance between employer and employee, which is essential in ensuring a functional, cooperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment.
However
, this could
easily
be overcome
by great online applications
for instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Facetime
and Skype, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the user to
virtually
communicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the web, with more than one connection at a time.

In conclusion
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is more advantageous as it facilitates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to flourish in the workforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the eradication of modern day barriers such as
difficultly
travelling to and from the workplace.
As well
as, the amplification of talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
eradication of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. In the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
should be an available option at all business’s.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The advent of the internet has made it it possible for people to work from home. Do you feel this working arrangement has more advantages or disadvantages? Share personal experiences In your essay. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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