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People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What affect does it have on individual and on society? v.17

People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What affect does it have on individual and on society? v. 17
In recent days, people are sleeping for a few hours when compared to the past. Consequently, sleeplessness is driving the individual into severe issues and also health problems. In this essay, I am going to discuss why the changes have occurred and what effects this is having. Firstly, people who are residing near: Airports, City-centres, and traffic areas will struggle to sleep early. The sounds produced in those locations will disturb the residents nearby. Secondly, before going to bed, the majority of people spend their time watching movies and TV shows in the late night also deprive them of sleep. Finally, persons who are having gruelling work stress in their daily life will suffer from balancing their rest. For example, even after office, people keep their nose to the grindstone at home in the night by sacrificing their sleeping time to complete their project within the deadline. Accordingly, sleeplessness will affect the health of a person by causing depression, migraine, and vomiting. The lack of sleep will affect one’s memory and also productivity at work. One potentially dangerous problem is a shortage in sleeping hours will set the individual to feel drowsy while driving a vehicle. It will lead to accidents and injuries; where there is a scope of losing their life in a crash, and also damages the public properties. In conclusion, sleep plays a pivotal role in everyone’s life. Sleeping for a short time is personally and professionally affecting an individual as well as society. In this process, many have to face severe health disorders which caused by sleeplessness.
In recent days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
for a few hours when compared to the past.
Consequently
, sleeplessness is driving the individual into severe issues and
also
health problems. In this essay, I am going to discuss why the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have occurred and what effects this is having.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are residing near: Airports,
Possible spelling mistake found.
City-centres
, and traffic areas will struggle to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
early. The sounds produced in those locations will disturb the residents nearby.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to bed, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their time watching movies and TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
in the late night
also
deprive them of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
.
Finally
, persons who are having
Possible spelling mistake found.
gruelling
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in their daily life will suffer from balancing their rest.
For example
, even after office,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their nose to the grindstone at home in the night by sacrificing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
time to complete their project within the deadline.

Accordingly
, sleeplessness will affect the health of a person by causing depression, migraine, and vomiting. The lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
will affect one’s memory and
also
productivity at work. One
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
problem is a shortage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
hours will set the individual to feel drowsy while driving a vehicle. It will lead to accidents and injuries; where there is a scope of losing their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
in a crash, and
also
damages the public properties.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
plays a pivotal role in everyone’s life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sleeping
for a short time is
personally
and
professionally
affecting an individual
as well
as society. In this process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face severe health disorders which caused by sleeplessness.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What affect does it have on individual and on society? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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