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People sleep less than before in many countries. Why people sleep less. ? what effect does it have on an individual and society? v.7

People sleep less than before in many countries. Why people sleep less. ? what effect does it have on an individual and society? v. 7
Noticeably, insomnia, nowadays, is one of the widely recognised problems around the world. This essay sheds light on the prime reason for decreasing amount of sleep, and its impacts on both individual and society. To begin with, drastic increase in the use of electronic gadgets such as mobile and computer before bed time is the predominant reason for the decrease in the sleeping hours. In details, studies in health sector, evidently, revealed that blue light emitted from the mobile as well as computer screen reduced the production melatonin which is known as sleeping hormone. Consequently, after the light being exposed from the screens of these gadgets, people sleep less than usual at night. Secondly, insufficient sleep at night is one of leading cause of varies life style diseases, headache, lack of attention and so on. To be clearer, while people having deprived sleep, their body in not getting enough time to rest in order to refresh physiological functions. Since such a refreshing inevitable for the normal functioning of the varies vital organs such as brain and heart, redused sleeping hours gradually end up in the varies diseases. Finally, the altered sleeping habits also have a social impact as it reduce the productivity of employees. In other words, stability and growth of the society depends on the efficiency of the people who work in it. It is quite evident that less sleeping hours dramatically reduce the efficiency of these work force as such it, collectively, reduce the social productivity. Some companies reported considerable amount of increase in the productivity after introducing a power nap, a short nap after lunch. It reiterates importance of sleep in productive society. To sum up, habit of using mobile phone and computer at bed time is major reason for drop in sleeping hours. This issue adversely impact the health of individuals who sleep less than usual and reduce the productivity in the society as it reduce the efficiency of the employees.
Noticeably
, insomnia, nowadays, is one of the
widely
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
problems around the world. This essay sheds light on the prime reason for decreasing amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
, and its impacts on both individual and society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, drastic increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic gadgets such as mobile and computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
bed time is the predominant reason for the decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, studies in health sector,
evidently
, revealed that blue light emitted from the mobile
as well
as computer screen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the production melatonin which
is known
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
hormone.
Consequently
, after the light
being exposed
from the screens of these gadgets,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
less than usual at night.

Secondly
, insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
at night is one of leading cause of varies life style diseases, headache, lack of attention and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To be clearer, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
, their body in not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to rest in order to refresh physiological functions. Since such a refreshing inevitable for the normal functioning of the varies vital organs such as brain and heart,
Possible spelling mistake found.
redused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in the varies diseases.

Finally
, the altered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
habits
also
have a social impact as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productivity
of employees.
In other words
, stability and growth of the society depends on the efficiency of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who work in it. It is quite evident that less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
dramatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the efficiency of these work force as such it,
collectively
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productivity
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
reported considerable amount of increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productivity
after introducing a power nap, a short nap after lunch. It reiterates importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
in productive society.

To sum up, habit of using mobile phone and computer at bed time is major reason for drop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. This issue
adversely
impact the health of individuals who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
less than usual and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productivity
in the society as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the efficiency of the employees.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People sleep less than before in many countries. Why people sleep less. ? what effect does it have on an individual and society? v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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