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People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effects does it have on individual and on society. v.6

The number of people argue that they have problems of getting through sufficient sleep. There are different deficiency due to the trouble of doze. Nap played a vital role in our life and assuage us from our daily routine. Of course, I agree this point of view that nowadays persons have theoretical issues which not allow him to take quiet rest. Several people are working like a machine to establish their living standard as well as compete their life with this materialist world. Moreover, many person try to achieve all the goals according to their coveted. And the result is that they are too hard to their self that neither worried about their health and relation. While, on the other hand, there are adequate conception if we work on it we can easily get proper sleep. Firstly, if we can relax our mind from stress and tension consequently, we get beauty sleep. For example, if I recall my memories I remember since, 2004 I had to complete my graduation and for that purpose I wake up till whole night I studied but, in the morning time I felt butterfly in my stomach because I perceive due to lack of sleep I am not able to clear my exam. Making our self-calm and secondly confidence on yourself is a primarily concern to have nightmare. As per above discussion, in my opinion health has an important place in our life if, medically we are not fit than no use rather how much rich or star you are in the world. Sluggish remove your tiredness help you to be more active and energetic in your work.
The number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible agreement error.
argue
that they have problems of getting through sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “deficiencies”?
deficiency
due to the trouble of doze. Nap played a vital role in our life and assuage us from our daily routine.

Of course
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this point of view that nowadays persons have theoretical issues which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
him to take quiet rest. Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working like a machine to establish their living standard
as well
as compete their life with this materialist world.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
person try to achieve all the goals according to their coveted. And the result is that they are too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to their self that neither worried about their health and relation.

While,
on the other hand
, there are adequate conception if we work on
Consider adding a comma here.
it
we can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
.
Firstly
, if we can relax our mind from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension
consequently
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
.
For example
, if I recall my memories I remember since, 2004 I had to complete my graduation and for that purpose I wake up till whole night I studied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in the morning time I felt butterfly in my stomach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I perceive due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
I am not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
my exam. Making our self-calm and
secondly
confidence on yourself is a
You used an adverb (‘primarily’) instead of an adjective, or a noun (‘concern’) instead of another adjective.
primarily concern
to have nightmare.

As per above discussion, in my opinion health has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place in our life if,
medically
we are not
Use “fitter than” to make a comparison with this adjective.
fit than
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
rather
how much rich or star you are in the world. Sluggish remove your tiredness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to be more active and energetic in your work.
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Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. *What problems can lack of sleep cause? *What can be done about lack of sleep?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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