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In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. v. 3
Some ponder that it is unjust that in a majority of nations, higher wages are paid for top members of companies; as opposed to juniors. I completely disagree with this statement because it is the supervisor/ consultant level that bears the burden of responsibility in making a company successful. To elaborate further, the success of an institution is reliant on striving towards a clear vision and having effective alternative fall-back options at times of trouble shooting. In order for this to take place, experienced qualified leaders are mandatory. And it goes without saying that it is this top-rung of personnel that will be taking profound risks to ensure tasks get done. For example, Dr. Hans of Dialog Axiata is said to be given a salary of 5 million rupees. And it would be easy for an onlooker to comment that he does less hours in the office; however, at a time of crisis, he will be the one facing the wrath of the shareholders, and additionally, be the person to strategize a path out of the chaos. Therefore, justifying the cash flow for the risk taken. On the contrary, newer or less experienced employees work harder and possibly for longer hours. Moreover, the quantity of work done might not seem to be proportionate to the pay check. Reasonably, this might be why some say that it is injustice. Although, this is a fair point; taking into account a family unit for example, if the children were to run the household for a week, what would be the outcome? To conclude, it takes time, age, experience and maturity to spearhead a workplace and prevent it from collapse; and it is for this reason that top jobs are paid the enormous cash.
Some
ponder that it is unjust that in a majority of nations, higher wages
are paid
for top members of
companies
; as opposed to juniors. I completely disagree with this statement
because
it is the supervisor/ consultant level that bears the burden of responsibility in making a
company
successful.

To elaborate
further
, the success of an institution is reliant on striving towards a
clear
vision and having effective alternative fall-back options at times of trouble shooting. In order for this to take place, experienced qualified leaders are mandatory. And it goes without saying that it is this top-rung of personnel that will be taking profound
risks
to ensure tasks
get
done.
For example
, Dr. Hans of Dialog
Axiata
is said
to be
given
a salary of 5 million rupees. And it would be easy for an onlooker to comment that he does
less hours
in the office;
however
, at a time of crisis, he will be the one facing the wrath of the shareholders, and
additionally
, be the person to strategize a path out of the chaos.
Therefore
, justifying the cash flow for the
risk
taken.

On the contrary
, newer or less experienced employees work harder and
possibly
for longer hours.
Moreover
, the quantity of work done might not seem to be proportionate to the pay
check
.
Reasonably
, this might be why
some
say that it is injustice. Although, this is a
fair
point; taking into account a family unit
for example
, if the children were to run the household for a week, what would be the outcome?

To conclude
, it takes time, age, experience and maturity to spearhead a workplace and
prevent
it from collapse; and it is
for this reason
that top jobs
are paid
the enormous cash.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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