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people sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? what effects does it have on individuals and society? v.12

people sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? what effects does it have on individuals and society? v. 12
A healthy mind thrives in a healthy body, and to be healthy it is important that a person has a healthy diet and adequate sleep. Unfortunately, in recent times it has been seen that people do not take enough sleep, which leads to several personal and social repercussions. In my below essay, I will illustrate with examples, the reasons causing sleep deprivation and how it affects a person and society. In this competitive era, every individual is struggling hard to make the ends meet. Owing to this they tend to bring their office work to their homes. Eventually, they spend most of their sleeping hours in completing their work-related assignments. To illustrate, the majority of the Software Engineers, remain awake until the late hours to accomplish their targets, this, in turn, reduces their sleeping hours. Another reason which is believed to be one of the significant reasons behind sleep deficiency is excessive screen time. Nowadays, the trend of social media, video game, and online movies are increasing leaps and bounds. Many of them become so much engrossed in their electronic gadgets that they rarely realize that they have wasted their sleep-time in front of the screen. To exemplify, it is reported in “The Times Of India” that about 45% of Indian Population browse through their social media accounts until late night hours. Consequently, these lifestyles have several detrimental effects on an individual’s health. A person with insufficient sleeping hours, falls prey to numerous diseases such as obesity, migraine, and insomnia, owing to which they are unable to apply themselves to work. Furthermore, this scenario also impacts a person’s social life. They eventually become agitated and short-tempered. If these people are introduced in the society, they fall into unwanted altercations and may end up in legal actions against them. For example, it is observed that majority of road-accidents and road-rages occur owing to the reduction in the driver’s sleep-time. In conclusion, too much workload and excessive screen time are the key reasons for sleep-deprivation and are immensely impacting people’s health and leading them towards anti-social behavior.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
mind thrives in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body, and to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
. Unfortunately, in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
, which leads to several personal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
repercussions. In my below essay, I will illustrate with examples, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
deprivation and how it affects a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and society.

In this competitive era, every individual is struggling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. Owing to this they tend to bring their office work to their homes.
Eventually
, they spend most of their sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in completing their work-related assignments. To illustrate, the majority of the Software Engineers, remain awake until the late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to accomplish their targets, this, in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which
is believed
to be one of the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
deficiency is excessive screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Nowadays, the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media, video game, and online movies are increasing leaps and bounds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much engrossed in their electronic gadgets that they rarely realize that they have wasted their sleep-time in front of the screen. To exemplify, it
is reported
in “The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
Of India” that about 45% of Indian Population browse through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media accounts until late night hours.

Consequently
, these lifestyles have several detrimental effects on an individual’s health. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with insufficient sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, falls prey to numerous diseases such as obesity, migraine, and insomnia, owing to which they are unable to apply themselves to work.
Furthermore
, this scenario
also
impacts a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life. They
eventually
become agitated and short-tempered. If these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are introduced
in the society, they fall into unwanted altercations and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in legal actions against them.
For example
, it
is observed
that majority of road-accidents and road-rages occur owing to the reduction in the driver’s sleep-time.

In conclusion
, too much workload and excessive screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for sleep-deprivation and are
immensely
impacting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health and leading them towards anti-social behavior.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay people sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? what effects does it have on individuals and society? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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