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People should work a fixed number of hours per week and employers should not ask anybody to work extra hours. v.1

People should work a fixed number of hours per week and employers should not ask anybody to work extra hours. v. 1
In Present era, every human is working for their better life and also to support their family but the question has arisen that whether people should work to a limited number of hours per week and must avoid working extra hours or overtime or not. I am going to discuss this topic in my essay. Firstly, every individual on the planet is engaged with some work in their professional life for survival for themselves or to provide a better life for their family. In some professions, people are working on fixed hours per week basis but sometimes they need to work extra hours, there are two possibilities we can see; first, the person need extra money for that week, or due to high volume of business in their company, their employer may ask them to work extra hours. But in my personal view, I am not in favour of working extra hours. It is certainly true that working extra hours can help people to earn extra money and fulfil their dreams but on the other side people who work continually have negative effects on their health and in many cases create family problems as well. For instance, if I work in a company for the whole weeks, then for that week I will not be able to spend even weekends with my family member. It will affect my married life. Sometimes it is also important for a person to work extra hours to cover their target for the company like people working in mail centre in some countries needs extra working hours for Christmas time and because of that is the busiest time for any courier in the world. I cannot ignore the importance of this kind of the time. In conclusion, I can say that people should work their fixed hours with positive attitudes but they must support their employer in some cases by working extra hours.
In Present era, every human is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for their better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
also
to support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the question has arisen that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to a limited number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
or overtime or not. I am going to discuss this topic in my essay.

Firstly
, every individual on the planet
is engaged
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for survival for themselves or to provide a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
basis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, there are two possibilities we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
;
first
, the person need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
money for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, or due to high volume of business in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, their employer may ask them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my personal view, I am not in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
hours.

It is
certainly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
money and fulfil their dreams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
continually
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their health and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
problems
as well
.
For instance
, if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
, then for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
I will not be able to spend even weekends with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member. It will affect my married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to cover their target for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in mail
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for Christmas time and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
that is
the busiest time for any courier in the world. I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the importance of this kind of the time.

In conclusion
, I can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitudes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
support their employer in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People should work a fixed number of hours per week and employers should not ask anybody to work extra hours. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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