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Nowadays, many people believe that it is important to be good at social interaction in order to get ahead at work. How far do you think social skills matter at the workplace? v.1

Nowadays, many people believe that it is important to be good at social interaction in order to get ahead at work. How far do you think social skills matter at the workplace? v. 1
Some experts suggested that emotional intelligence is one of the noteworthy parts in case of social skills at the workplace. People cannot build a good relationship at a workplace if they do not have good social skills. Therefore, I personally believe that social skills are crucial in getting good networks and work results at workplace. First of all, social skills of employees are one of the deliberations in hiring new workers to assure that they can deal with everyone at the  workplace. It can be seen that most great companies usually have a good relationship between one employee and others. The white-collar worker and blue-collar worker have a good synergy and communicate friendly. Because they believe that a good network will define the work atmosphere. As a result, if everyone respects each other, the worker might do their jobs comfortably. Therefore, social skills are becoming an essential in the workplace. In terms of work outputs, there is no doubt that social skill, such as responsible, respect, discipline, and the like, will bring the company experiencing an increased result because of everyone work maximally and do their best. The white-collar workers have a great responsible for everything. Every worker respects every idea and opinion and every deadline they target on time. These will automatically bring many advantages for the workplace outcome. In conclusion, capability without sociality is useless in the workplace. Social skills should be a priority in hiring an employee to get a good relationship atmosphere at a workplace and to create an advance of company results.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts suggested that emotional intelligence is one of the noteworthy parts in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
cannot build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationship at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
if they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Therefore
, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are crucial in getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
networks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
at workplace.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of employees are one of the deliberations in hiring new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to assure that they can deal with everyone at the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
usually
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationship between one employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. The white-collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
and blue-collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
synergy and communicate friendly.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
network will define the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
atmosphere. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, if everyone respects each other, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
might do their jobs
comfortably
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are becoming an essential in the workplace.

In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outputs, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, such as responsible, respect, discipline, and the like, will bring the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
experiencing an increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
maximally
and do their best. The white-collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
have a great responsible for everything. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
respects every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and opinion and every deadline they target on time. These will
automatically
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
outcome.

In conclusion
, capability without
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociality
is useless in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should be a priority in hiring an employee to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationship atmosphere at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
and to create an advance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, many people believe that it is important to be good at social interaction in order to get ahead at work. How far do you think social skills matter at the workplace? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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