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28/10/2017People should work a fixed number of hours per week, and employers should not ask anybody to work more than this. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion. v.1

28/10/2017People should work a fixed number of hours per week, and employers should not ask anybody to work more than this. Give your own opinion. v. 1
It is true that day by day population is increasing at an alarming rate and due to this, there are many migrants to urban areas, which brings many problems. The problems are an increase in the prices of rents and flats and air pollution. However, both government and individual play an integral role to solve such problems like creating employment in a rural area and using public transport respectively. One of the main problems related to overpopulation of metro cities is the prices of rents and residential areas are soaring. This is because of the majority of population migrant from the rural areas to urban areas, that requires more flats to be constructed in the cities. As a result, due to shortage of land, the owners of flat increase the price of rent and builders increase the prices for new construction of flats. Another issue arises from this is an increase in the rate of air pollution. To elucidate, due to more population in the cities, there are many industries which release many harmful gases in the air and many vehicles such as cars, bikes and buses on the roads which emits a lot of smoke. This contributes to air pollution. For example, in Mumbai, since the last decade, the level of air pollution has increased from 75% to 90%, which is due to an increase in the population and shifting of many migrants. However, in order to resolve these problems the government and an individual play an important role. In terms of the government, they can create many job opportunities in rural areas so that many people over there do not shift to cities for improving their standard of living or fulfilling their basic needs. Similarly, the higher authorities could give tax concession to many industrialists to open new factories in the urban areas in order to create more jobs over there. In terms of an individual, they could use public transport or car pooling system to reduce the level of air pollution. For example, in Japan, many people started using the car pooling system for commuting from home to work, which resulted in the reduction of air pollution by 25%. In conclusion, the population is increasing at a rapid pace in the cities, which brings problems as the air gets polluted and prices of accommodation. Only when the government will create more jobs in the urban areas and an individual start using public transport instead of private cars, will these problems be solved.
It is true that day by day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is increasing at an alarming rate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
migrants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, which brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of rents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
However
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
play an integral role to solve such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like creating employment in a rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and using public transport
respectively
.

One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to overpopulation of metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of rents and residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are soaring. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
migrant from the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, that requires more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
to
be constructed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to shortage of land, the owners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of rent and builders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
for new construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
. Another issue arises from this is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. To elucidate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries which release
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful gases in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vehicles such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, bikes and buses on the roads which emits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
smoke. This contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For example
, in Mumbai, since the last decade, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has increased from 75% to 90%, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and shifting of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
migrants.

However
, in order to resolve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role. In terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, they can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over there do not shift to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for improving their standard of living or fulfilling their basic needs.
Similarly
, the higher authorities could give tax concession to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industrialists to open new factories in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in order to create more jobs over there. In terms of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
pooling system to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For example
, in Japan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
pooling system for commuting from home to work, which resulted in the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
by 25%.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is increasing at a rapid pace in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
polluted and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of accommodation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will create more jobs in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using public transport
instead
of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, will these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
be solved
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay 28/10/2017People should work a fixed number of hours per week, and employers should not ask anybody to work more than this. Give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
415 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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