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People say that a child’s success is dependent on the way parents bring them up. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

People say that a child’s success is dependent on the way parents bring them up. v. 2
It has argued that a significant number of individuals that children's success story is best possible through their parent’s way of taking care. Although, parents are the greatest helping hand for a child to show the right directions on a timely basis, I am of the opinion that other people like, friends are equally important in bringing the kids' achievements. The environment influences the person to do its daily activities, a surrounding circle has a lead role to play in a person's mind and that can be easily related to his success. In the case, the students spent their most time in schools with their friends, and they guide them whenever is the need and accordingly. For instance, European kids are more involved in soccer and they dominate all over the world in that and Asian kids in cricket, hence, I believe that good friend circle is more important to have victory in life. On the other hand, parents are those, who know their kids from day one and the ways how to guide them on time for the successful outcome. Pupils at an early stage of life are unaware of their right or wrong things and parents are the first, who can guide them from the initial stages of their career, which will have an impact on them for the lifetime. Therefor, it is vital to have good communication between parents and their kids, which can shape their career paths to have a better outcome in the future. In conclusion, while, parents play a necessary role in guiding their children to have success in life from the initial stages of career, it is also, important for a child to have a good friend circle, which will help him in achieving good future at different intervals in life.
It has argued that a significant number of individuals that children's success story
is best
possible through their
parent’s
way of taking care. Although,
parents
are the greatest helping hand for a child to
show
the right directions on a timely basis, I am of the opinion that other
people
like,
friends
are
equally
important
in bringing the kids' achievements.

The environment influences the person to do its daily activities, a surrounding circle has a lead role to play in a person's mind and that can be
easily
related to his success. In the case, the students spent their most time in schools with their
friends
, and they guide them whenever is the need and
accordingly
.
For instance
, European
kids
are more involved in
soccer and
they dominate all over the world in that and Asian
kids
in cricket,
hence
, I believe that
good
friend
circle is more
important
to have victory in life.

On the other hand
,
parents
are those, who know their
kids
from day one and the ways how to guide them on time for the successful outcome. Pupils at an early stage of life are unaware of their right or
wrong
things and
parents
are the
first
, who can guide them from the initial stages of their career, which will have an impact on them for the lifetime. Therefor, it is vital to have
good
communication between
parents
and their
kids
, which can shape their career paths to have a better outcome in the future.

In conclusion
, while,
parents
play a necessary role in guiding their children to have success in life from the initial stages of career, it is
also
,
important
for a child to have a
good
friend
circle, which will
help
him in achieving
good
future at
different
intervals in life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People say that a child’s success is dependent on the way parents bring them up. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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