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Some think that economic progress is completely dependent on the country’s success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the success of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important, compared to others? v.1

Some think that economic progress is completely dependent on the country’s success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the success of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important, compared to others? v. 1
It is one of the fundamental duties of the government to offer quality health care to its civilians. Some people debate that private hospitals are better for the patience, whilst another group of people think that government hospitals treat people free of cost and organise by the government. My notion is that governmental facilities are always required, but there should be no restriction on private health care. On the one hand, private health care offers competitive and qualitative medical services to the people. Also, highly qualified professionals are hired to work for the community to ensure a certain enhanced quality of services offered. Moreover, private sector units are profit making organizations that invest a significant amount of their profits in acquiring latest technology and research. This is highly beneficial to the patients in the long run. Finally, private hospitals offer better facilities like 24 hour emergency services, ambulance, networks and super specialty hospitals and so on. Though, on the flip side, it is also true that some private hospitals sometime overcharge their patients to maximize profits. On the other hand, one of the best thing about government hospitals is that it offers cost effective and better accessibility. In addition, it is available in the smallest of towns and villages of the country, where under- privileged people are benefited from it as well as governments can get donations and allocate funds to offer health care to the civilians. However, it is often observed that public health care centres may not provide satisfactory services primarily because of the huge cost of free health care. To recapitulate, it is evident that both systems of offering health care have their own merits and demerits and yet both are required in present day societies. Hence, I opine that private healthcare should not be eliminated.
It is one of the fundamental duties of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to its civilians.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
debate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
are better for the patience, whilst another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
free of cost and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. My notion is that governmental facilities are always required,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there should be no restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offers
competitive and qualitative medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
,
highly
qualified professionals
are hired
to work for the community to ensure a certain enhanced quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
offered.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
sector units are profit making organizations that invest a significant amount of their profits in acquiring
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology and research. This is
highly
beneficial to the patients in the long run.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
better facilities like
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
24 hour
emergency
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, ambulance, networks and super specialty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Though, on the flip side, it is
also
true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
sometime overcharge their patients to maximize profits.

On the other hand
, one of the best thing about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offers
cost effective and better accessibility.
In addition
, it is available in the smallest of towns and villages of the country, where under- privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are benefited
from it
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
donations and allocate funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to the civilians.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
observed that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
may not provide satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the huge cost of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.

To recapitulate, it is evident that both systems of offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and demerits and
yet
both
are required
in present day societies.
Hence
, I opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
healthcare should not
be eliminated
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some think that economic progress is completely dependent on the country’s success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the success of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important, compared to others? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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