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International air fares are falling and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity? v.1

International air fares are falling and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity? v. 1
International air fares are falling. More and more employers are offering holiday entitlements. Needless to say, the number of people who travel to exotic holiday destinations across the world is on the rise. While this trend has both upsides and downsides, in my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The tourism industry has witnessed tremendous growth over the last few years. And it looks like it will continue this upward trend. The growth in the tourism sector has many advantages. In many parts of the world tourism has created more jobs than any other industry. Tourism helps countries to earn valuable foreign exchange. Tourism has also helped in the preservation of many heritage structures and art forms which would, otherwise, have died without leaving a trace. For example, many ethnic Indian dance forms would have died if they hadn’t received the patronage of foreign tourists. Tourism also promotes cultural understanding. As people travel to other countries, they get an opportunity to learn about other cultures and beliefs. Intercultural understanding is always good for global harmony. On the flip side, tourism has some disadvantages too. In many countries, particularly those in the under developed world, tourism has led to the establishment of some morally questionable practices. For example, many tourist hotspots in Asia and Latin America are now synonymous with prostitution and illegal gambling. Tourist hotspots are also plagued by problems like theft, maimed begging and drug abuse. However, these disadvantages are nothing compared to the advantages and it doesn’t take a lot of efforts to see that tourism has more benefits than drawbacks. To conclude, the growth in the tourism sector does have some downsides; however, the negatives pale in comparison to the positives because tourism creates jobs and promotes understanding between people.
International air fares are falling. More and more employers are offering holiday entitlements. Needless to say, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who travel to exotic holiday destinations across the world is on the rise. While this trend has both upsides and downsides, in my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry has witnessed tremendous growth over the last few years. And it looks like it will continue this upward trend. The growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has created more jobs than any other industry.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
countries to earn valuable foreign exchange.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in the preservation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
heritage structures and art forms which would,
otherwise
, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
without leaving a trace.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ethnic Indian dance forms would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
if they hadn’t received the patronage of foreign tourists.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
also
promotes cultural understanding. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel to other countries, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to learn about other cultures and beliefs. Intercultural understanding is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for global harmony.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
particularly
those in the under developed world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has led to the establishment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
morally
questionable practices.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourist hotspots in Asia and Latin America are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
synonymous with prostitution and illegal gambling. Tourist hotspots are
also
plagued by problems like theft, maimed begging and drug abuse.
However
, these disadvantages are nothing compared to the advantages and it doesn’t take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has more benefits than drawbacks.

To conclude
, the growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides;
however
, the negatives pale
in comparison
to the positives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
creates jobs and promotes understanding between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay International air fares are falling and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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