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In many countries, men and women are working full time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

In many countries, men and women are working full time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. v. 1
Both men and women have started equating working in every nation, and hence it is natural that they should divide their household chores among themselves. I agree with this viewpoint as this way of life provides several advantages such as a stress-free life and courage to be independent. To begin with, sharing home chores mainly reduces the work pressure of the couple. Sharing domestic chores reduce the pressure on couples. If one of them has to do all the work alone after office hours, they will be under tremendous pressure. Eventually, the person who does all the domestic work will have no option but quit their job. This will make them miss out on their career and create feelings of resentment. By contrast, sharing household work enables both spouses have a flourishing career and stress free family life. Sharing household chores also enable both men and women to be independent. This is because both of them learn to do each and every job at home, and can run the house independently when one of them is out of town. For example, many software professionals benefit from this phenomenon because their job requires them to travel abroad frequently leaving their family. In conclusion, working couples should share their household chores because it will help them reduce the workload and in turn, the stress. Furthermore, it enables them to be independent when they are all alone. Every working couple should be encouraged to adopt this lifestyle for leading a relaxed life.
Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
equating working in every nation, and
hence
it is natural that they should divide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
among themselves. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint as this way of life provides several advantages such as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free life and courage to be independent.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, sharing home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
. Sharing domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
. If one of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
alone after office hours, they will be under tremendous pressure.
Eventually
, the person who does all the domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will have no option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
quit their job. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them miss out on their career and create feelings of resentment. By contrast, sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
enables both spouses have a flourishing career and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free family life.

Sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
also
enable both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women to be independent. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both of them learn to do each and every job at home, and can run the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
independently
when one of them is out of town.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
software professionals benefit from this phenomenon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their job requires them to travel abroad
frequently
leaving their family.

In conclusion
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
should share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the workload and in turn, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Furthermore
, it enables them to be independent when they are all alone. Every working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
should
be encouraged
to adopt this lifestyle for leading a relaxed life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay In many countries, men and women are working full time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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