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People remember special gifts or presents that they receive. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

People remember special gifts or presents that they receive. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
There are numerous occasions in an individual' s life to make him/her feel special. The best way to accomplish this is through gifts or presents. Therefore, these gifts are cherished forever. Firstly, gifts are means of showing love and affection towards others. For instance, due to your busy schedule you were not able to catch up with your friend since long, but you recall his/her birthday and astonish him/her with a present of his/her choice. In that case he/she will feel special and reciprocate your love in the same way. Secondly, gift given by a person who is no longer alive is always close to heart. Children treasure the presents given by their grandparents during festivals. These presents are a keepsake for them and will never like to part with them no matter how obsolete the same becomes. On the other hand, combined or joint gifts can fulfill the financial needs of an individual. For example, last year one of my friend was in need of a microwave oven, unfortunately due to limited source of income the family could not afford it. So me along with other five friends contributed for the same. Not only did it bring a smile on her face but also served her purpose. Similarly, adolescents love it when their parents and friends shower them with presents much required by them. They look forward to their birthdays and special occasions so that they can be bestowed with amazing surprises. To recapitulate, gifts represent warmth, remembrance and forgiveness. All these reasons make it even more special for the receiver as well as the giver.
There are numerous occasions in an
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him/her feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
. The best way to accomplish this is through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
are cherished
forever.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
are means of showing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection towards others.
For instance
, due to your busy schedule you were not able to catch up with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
since long,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you recall his/her birthday and astonish him/her with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
of his/her choice.
In that case
he/she will feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
and reciprocate your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
in the same way
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by a person who is no longer alive is always close to heart. Children treasure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their grandparents during festivals. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
are a keepsake for them and will never like to part with them no matter how obsolete the same becomes.

On the other hand
, combined or joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
can fulfill the financial needs of an individual.
For example
, last year one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
was in need of a microwave oven, unfortunately due to limited source of income the family could not afford it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
me along with other five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
contributed for the same. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
did it bring a smile on her face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
served her purpose.

Similarly
, adolescents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
it when their parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
shower them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
much required by them. They look forward to their birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
occasions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
be bestowed
with amazing surprises.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
represent warmth, remembrance and forgiveness. All these reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it even more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
for the receiver
as well
as the giver.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay People remember special gifts or presents that they receive. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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