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most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. to what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development? v.4

most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. v. 4
A global village is widely advocated of by a majority of people. While some people believe this trend brings benefits, others hold an opposite view. The positives as well as the negatives of this development will be discussed in this essay. On the one hand, globalisation has its own merits. Firstly, once every nation integrate and get closer to others, the barrier between them is about to disappear in terms of language, culture, tradition. Specifically, people from all over the world get chances to broaden their horizon of knowledge as well as become tolerant with others’ culture. Secondly, it is the connection between countries and countries established through a globalized world that the economy of participants is boosted considerably by the act of cooperation in a variety of fields namely transaction, investment, manufacturing and so on. On the other hand, offences of a global village claim that one biggest drawback of this trend if the loss of identity. Precisely, were the world to undergo globalisation, citizens would be influenced or imitate others from different country, leading to the sync occurring in language and lifestyle on a gradual basis. Besides, owing to the fact that some features of a country appear in another ones and vice versa, not many people find it interesting to travel to the same place as their. Therefore, tourism industry which is a crucial field of the economy is likely to be threatened, causing harm to the overall budget. In conclusion, people can take advantage of living in a united world, in the meantime, the disadvantages are also available. As far as the personal viewpoint is concerned, reservation of nations’ identities should be conducted in the era of integration.
A global village is
widely
advocated of by a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe this trend brings benefits, others hold an opposite view. The positives
as well
as the negatives of this development will
be discussed
in this essay.

On the one hand,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits.
Firstly
, once every nation integrate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
closer to others, the barrier between them is about to disappear in terms of language, culture, tradition.
Specifically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chances to broaden their horizon of knowledge
as well
as become tolerant with others’ culture.
Secondly
, it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
established through a globalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that the economy of participants
is boosted
considerably
by the act of cooperation in a variety of fields
namely
transaction, investment, manufacturing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
of a global village claim that one biggest drawback of this trend if the loss of identity.
Precisely
, were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to undergo
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, citizens would
be influenced
or imitate others from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, leading to the sync occurring in language and lifestyle on a gradual basis.
Besides
, owing to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
features of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
appear in another ones and vice versa, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it interesting to travel to the same place as their.
Therefore
, tourism industry which is a crucial field of the economy is likely to
be threatened
, causing harm to the
overall
budget.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take advantage of living in a united
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, in the meantime, the disadvantages are
also
available. As far as the personal viewpoint
is concerned
, reservation of nations’ identities should
be conducted
in the era of integration.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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