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Choose a place you go to often that is important to you and explain why it is important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Choose a place you go to often that is important to you and explain why it is important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
It is true that modern technology has influenced on communication between people, and it affected on people by various ways. In my opinion, this development brings both positive and negative points. The modern technology plays a vital role in developing society, and it increases a great deal of benefit for people in interaction between people. Firstly, the birth of the internet has changed completely the life of people, and this invention opened a successful revolution. For example, thank to internet that people can look for knowledge and chat each other easily. Secondly, the growth of social website quality helps people to establish new relationships with other people. For instance, people have the opportunities to add new friends and find jobs through Facebook, Instagram. The technological development has both advantage and disadvantage. On the one hand, the technology is one of the important factors in communication. To illustrate, writing letter now is replaced by email, and people can exchange information easier and quicker. On the other hand, technological communication has negative points relating to the reliability of new relationships. In addition, there are many virtual accounts, and they used fake information and images to trick people. For instance, many women become victim of prostitution organization through the online website. In conclusion, the modern technology has created positive changes in the life of people. The birth of the internet and technological applications help gain knowledge and look for everything easily. In my opinion, this brings both the pros and cons, in which people can exchange information easily; nevertheless, people can be cheated through social networks.
It is true that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has influenced on communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by various ways. In my opinion, this development brings both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points.

The modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a vital role in developing society, and it increases a great deal of benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, the birth of the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and this invention opened a successful revolution.
For example
, thank to internet that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can look for knowledge and chat each other
easily
.
Secondly
, the growth of social website quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to establish new relationships with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
new friends and find jobs through Facebook, Instagram.

The technological development has both advantage and disadvantage. On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors in communication. To illustrate, writing letter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is replaced
by email, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can exchange information easier and quicker.
On the other hand
, technological communication has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points relating to the reliability of new relationships.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
virtual accounts, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
fake information and images to trick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
women become victim of prostitution organization through the online website.

In conclusion
, the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The birth of the internet and technological applications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
gain knowledge and look for everything
easily
. In my opinion, this brings both the pros and cons, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can exchange information
easily
;
nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be cheated
through social networks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Choose a place you go to often that is important to you and explain why it is important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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