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most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. to what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development? v.2

most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. v. 2
Public transport has so far been considered to be beneficial to the society since it’s very efficient and environmentally friendly. However, people currently have to pay a large amount of money for the mass transit system. This trend is caused by various reasons, and there will also be possible solutions to help mitigate it. There are two primary causes that lead to the increasing prices in terms of public transport. The first one is that the vast majority of residents now can afford to buy their own private car, as cars are becoming inexpensive and they provides safety for people. On the grounds of that, the number of consumers of public transport has gradually reduced. In order to maintain the profit, some transportation organizations have to raise fare to support their financial problem. Another reason to explain is that those organizations need an annual upgrade for their infrastructures. For example, by increasing the price of using trains, they can make use of the income to reconstruct some systems derailed to eliminate future train accidents. Instead of increasing the fare, there are other effective methods that can be taken. To commence with, the citizens can be persuaded to use local transit service to decrease the environmental impact. To be more precise, if the figure for private cars keeps rising, it will lead to the significant emission of CO2, which also contributes to the air pollution. Therefore, convincing people to use public transport will be advantageous for both transportation companies and customers. The second strategy is that local firms involving in transportation can raise funds from the outside to help renovate the systems. For instance, to be back to the standard price, these firms can receive subsidy from other entrepreneurs so that the residents will be encouraged to use public transport more. In conclusion, there are some specific reasons resulting in the increase in the cost of mass transit service and several possible solutions can be carried out to solve it. Local authorities and transportation organizations should be flexible in adjusting the price to create the best experience for the customers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far
been considered
to be beneficial to the society since it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient and
environmentally
friendly.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
currently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay a large amount of money for the mass transit system. This trend
is caused
by various reasons, and there will
also
be possible solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
mitigate it.

There are two primary causes that lead to the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. The
first
one is that the vast majority of residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
private car, as cars are becoming
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
inexpensive and
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "provide"
provides
safety for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. On the grounds of that, the number of consumers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
has
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. In order to maintain the profit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
raise fare to support their financial problem. Another reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
is that those organizations need an annual upgrade for their infrastructures.
For example
, by increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of using trains, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the income to reconstruct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
systems derailed to eliminate future train accidents.

Instead
of increasing the fare, there are other effective methods that can
be taken
. To commence with, the citizens can
be persuaded
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
local transit service to decrease the environmental impact. To be more precise, if the figure for private cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
rising, it will lead to the significant emission of CO2, which
also
contributes to the air pollution.
Therefore
, convincing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
will be advantageous for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and customers. The second strategy is that local firms involving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
can raise funds from the outside to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
renovate the systems.
For instance
, to be back to the standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
, these firms can receive subsidy from other entrepreneurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the residents will
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
more.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific reasons resulting in the increase in the cost of mass transit service and several possible solutions can
be carried
out to solve it. Local authorities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
organizations should be flexible in adjusting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
to create the best experience for the customers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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