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Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.14

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 14
It is true that modern technology has influenced on communication between people, and it affected on people by various ways. In my opinion, this development brings both positive and negative points. The technology plays a vital role in developing society, and it increases a great deal of benefit for people in communication. Firstly, the birth of the internet has changed completely the life of people, and this invention opened a successful revolution. For example, thank to internet that people can look for information and chat each other easily. Secondly, the development of social website quality helps people to establish new relationships with other people. For instance, people have the opportunities to add new friends and find jobs through Facebook, Instagram. The technological development has both advantage and disadvantage. On the one hand, the technological development is one of the most important factors in developing educational and economic institutions. To illustrate, the technology helps people to improve the quality of their lives and gain the wealth of knowledge. On the other hand, communication technology still has negative points relating to the reliability of new relationships. In addition, there are many virtual accounts, and they used fake information and images to trick people. For instance, organize prostitution and crimes are more and more increase through the online websites. In conclusion, the modern technology has created positive changes in the life of people. The birth of the internet and technological applications help gain information and look for friends easily. In my opinion, this brings benefits to educational and economic aspects; nevertheless, people can be deceived through social networks.
It is true that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has influenced on communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by various ways. In my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
brings both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a vital role in developing society, and it increases a great deal of benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in communication.
Firstly
, the birth of the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and this invention opened a successful revolution.
For example
, thank to internet that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can look for information and chat each other
easily
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of social website quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to establish new relationships with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
new friends and find jobs through Facebook, Instagram.

The technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
has both advantage and disadvantage. On the one hand, the technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors in developing educational and economic institutions. To illustrate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and gain the wealth of knowledge.
On the other hand
, communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points relating to the reliability of new relationships.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
virtual accounts, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
fake information and images to trick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, organize prostitution and crimes are more and more increase through the online websites.

In conclusion
, the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The birth of the internet and technological applications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
gain information and look for friends
easily
. In my opinion, this brings benefits to educational and economic aspects;
nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be deceived
through social networks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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