Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v.3

People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v. 3
Among the people there are some who say teaching the physical act of writing is no longer required, while others strongly insist on its importance. Handwriting is still a skill as important as learning to read and do arithmetic. I wish to proceed and discuss each opinion. Today, with the advances in technology, it is possible to use our voices and facial recognition to convey messages and other information with no need to type anything. Hence, with such an advance, it appears to many that writing by hand should be considered archaic and no longer required. As an example, we can take the mobile phone, it has fingerprints, voice and retina recognition, it can send messages, and we can ask it to write what we speak. So, for what reason do we need to use a pen and paper anymore However, many people still strongly feel and advocate that the skill of handwriting is not only beneficial to children’s. Furthermore, some would even suggest that it actually can develop a child's personality. Let us take, for example, proven teaching of the cursive script and later advanced calligraphy which aids reading, understanding how each letter is formed, and its meaning. Moreover, handwriting is the basic tool used to understand this important aspect of language, otherwise if it is dropped from standard schooling, a physical appreciation writing could well be lost. In addition, what is even more relevant is the act of writing itself also develops proficiency in spelling and grammar. In conclusion, I agree that people are more likely to text messages through their digital device. It seems we do not rely on handwriting anything more. Yet, as those who fairly cite, it can facilitate fostering a better understanding of the language we speak and read. Besides, handwriting is a very human skill that must be passed down to future generations. Therefore, my view is to make a balance between technological applications and natural skills.
Among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who say teaching the physical act of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
is no longer required, while others
strongly
insist on its importance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Handwriting
is
still
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as learning to read and do arithmetic. I wish to proceed and discuss each opinion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, with the advances in technology, it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our voices and facial recognition to convey messages and other information with no need to type anything.
Hence
, with such an advance, it appears to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
by hand should
be considered
archaic and no longer required. As an example, we can take the mobile phone, it has fingerprints, voice and retina recognition, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages, and we can ask it to write what we speak.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for what reason do we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a pen and paper anymore

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
strongly
feel and advocate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial to children’s.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would even suggest that it actually can develop a child's personality.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take,
for example
, proven teaching of the cursive script and later advanced calligraphy which aids reading, understanding how each letter
is formed
, and its meaning.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
is the basic tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to understand this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of language,
otherwise
if it
is dropped
from standard schooling, a physical appreciation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
could well
be lost
.
In addition
, what is even more relevant is the act of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
itself
also
develops proficiency in spelling and grammar.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more likely to text messages through their digital device. It seems we do not rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
anything more.
Yet
, as those who
fairly
cite, it can facilitate fostering a better understanding of the language we speak and read.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be passed
down to future generations.
Therefore
, my view is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a balance between technological applications and natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts