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Essay topics: People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v.1

Essay topics: People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v. 1
After 2 century figure of transportation is escalated enormously, for this reason another media for communication is searching globally as well as different types of rules and regulations are taken for controlling the car. I agree with these measures because by following these our environment will be able to reduce pollution, and traffic jam can be controlled through this. By emitting carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide from transit our surroundings become polluted and it causes some deleterious effect for human beings. With the increasing of population, public transportation is necessary for everyone, as a result, the figure is growing day by day and they produce black smoke which is the main reason of increasing carbon and thus global warming is occurring and the world runs towards the danger zone such as the ice are melting as a consequence, low lying area is drawing. If the number of private jeep is rising rapidly trafficking will be increased more, although public transport like bus, truck also fall significant influence on traffic jam. The price of motor becomes reasonable for the person who have money, moreover automobile can be purchased by instalments for this person can easily adopt car and the number is increasing. However, some car owners break traffic rules and some terrible accident occurs, on the other hand, for the jam people lost their valuable time which can cause economic loss of that country. If some strict rules are announced such type accident will be reduced furthermore people can use train, tram and such type public transit instead of using convertible. In conclusion, I support this types of decisions for improving our quality of life and saving our whole world.
After
Did you mean "2nd century"?
2 century
figure of transportation
is escalated
enormously
,
for this reason
another media for communication is searching globally
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations
are taken
for controlling the car. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with these measures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by following
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "our environment" or "these environment"?
these our environment
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollution, and traffic jam can
be controlled
through this.

By emitting carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide from transit our surroundings become polluted and it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deleterious effect for human beings. With the increasing of population, public transportation is necessary for everyone,
as a result
, the figure is growing day by
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
they produce black smoke which is the main reason of increasing carbon and
thus
global warming is occurring and the world runs towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
zone such as the ice are melting as a consequence,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
low lying
area is drawing.

If the number of private jeep is rising
rapidly
trafficking will
be increased
more, although public transport like bus, truck
also
fall significant influence on traffic jam. The price of motor becomes reasonable for the person who have money,
moreover
automobile can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalments' is British English.
instalments
for this person can
easily
adopt car and the number is increasing.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
car owners break traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
terrible accident occurs,
on the other hand
, for the jam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lost their valuable time which can cause economic loss of that country. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are announced
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
accident will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
furthermore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
train, tram and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
public transit
instead
of using convertible.

In conclusion
, I support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of decisions for improving our quality of life and saving our whole world.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Essay topics: People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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