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People prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced ones. Why do you think this happens? Should the government support local film makers financially? v.2

People prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced ones. Why do you think this happens? Should the government support local film makers financially? v. 2
Nowadays films are released globally and viewers get an opportunity to see the foreign films in addition to local ones. In some countries, it has also been observed that people like to watch the foreign produced films than the native cinema. I shall explain the reason for this. People who give preference to foreign cinema have some valid points. Firstly, in some of the countries, local cinema is not popular and only few films are produced yearly, which perhaps not enough to meet viewers demands. For example, in Arab countries, producing films are not considered good and people refrain from making film. Secondly, poor quality of films diverts the people towards foreign films. Sometimes films produced locally do not meet the required standards and not able to attract the local people. Particularly, films produced by African countries do not even meet the basic qualities. As a result, local people are forced to watch other nation’s films. Finally, films which are produced in developed countries are highly animated and provide altogether different experience. Cinema has become an integral part of the culture and even some the countries are known because of their cinema industry. Countries see it as a chance to tell their local stories and exhibit their culture. Moreover, cinema has emerged as a new industry and not only entertain the people but also generate employment for millions of people depending on the size of the industry. For instance, Government of India has waived of entertainment taxes for locally produced films in order to motivate the local producers and generate local employment. To sum up, Quality of films, interesting stories and use of technology in the foreign film attracts the people to watch the films produced in other countries. I also hold the view that government should provide adequate financial support to local cinema industries for promoting native art & culture.
Nowadays films
are released
globally and viewers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films
in addition
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it has
also
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
films than the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
. I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason for this.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who give preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid points.
Firstly
, in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is not popular and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few films are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
yearly, which perhaps not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
viewers demands.
For example
, in Arab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, producing films are not considered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refrain from making film.
Secondly
, poor quality of films diverts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
films
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
locally
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the required standards and not able to attract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Particularly
, films
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the basic qualities.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
other nation’s films.
Finally
, films which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
highly
animated and provide altogether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experience.

Cinema has become an integral part of the culture and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are known
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stories and exhibit their culture.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
has emerged as a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
entertain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
generate employment for millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
depending on the size of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
of India has waived of entertainment taxes for
locally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
films in order to motivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
producers and generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
employment.

To sum up, Quality of films, interesting stories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
film attracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the films
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
also
hold the view that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide adequate financial support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
for promoting native art
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; culture.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay People prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced ones. Why do you think this happens? Should the government support local film makers financially? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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