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History tells that people have often thought about creating an ideal society but most of the times fail in making this happen What is your opinion about an ideal society How can we create an ideal society v.3

History tells that people have often thought about creating an ideal society but most of the times fail in making this happen What is your opinion about an ideal society How can we create an ideal society v. 3
If we look at history, it is clear that since time immemorial, people have always wanted to create an ideal society but have been unsuccessful. In the following essay, I intend to discuss what makes an ideal society and how we can create one. An ideal society is a society where the needs of the people regardless of their race, religion or wealth would be met. Many great thinkers, such as Plato, Thomas More and Dr Martin Luther King Jr. have offered their opinions on this to the public over the years. However, these dreams failed because different people have different ideas about a perfect society. To make it happen, either the ideals of all the people have to be fulfilled, or all the people would have to have the same ones. Imagine a society with no crime, no terrorism, no warfare, no conflicts of cultures, no racism, no gender discrimination, no poisoned tongues, no killing, no lying, no stealing, no adultery and no excuses. Such a society can never exist. It would be wrong even to think of one. A perfect society needs some kind of social inequality, or as I call it, a distinction inability. Those in the higher strata of society would be there because of their superior abilities and have greater responsibilities and, therefore, a higher social standing. An ideal society should have some struggle. If you had no struggle in life would you be happy? No, because that takes all the fun and enjoyment out of the difficulty, the losing, the failures, and the overcoming, the victory, the success. There are many ways in which we can make an ideal society. First of all, there must be a democracy and a strong government which has the ability to rule over the country. It should try to make the citizens' lives better by making better social and financial conditions to live. There should be no corruption in the government. Finally, I believe, one of the most necessary things in the ideal society is freedom. No people and no society are happy and ideal when they are not free. However, we must remember that – ‘One’s freedom ends there where other’s starts’. If we will feel free and do not disturb others freedom we will have an ideal society. An ideal society would allow complete freedom to everybody and complete individuality. To sum up, I pen down saying that, a perfect society is difficult to attain as everyone has different concepts of an ideal society. However, if we all respect our freedom and in doing so know our limitations so that others can enjoy their freedom then it can be called an ideal society.
If we look at history, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that since time immemorial,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have always wanted to create an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have been unsuccessful. In the following essay, I intend to discuss what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and how we can create one.

An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where the needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regardless of their race, religion or wealth would
be met
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
great thinkers, such as Plato, Thomas More and Dr Martin Luther King Jr. have offered their opinions on this to the public over the years.
However
, these dreams failed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about a perfect
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society
. To
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make
it happen, either the ideals of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be fulfilled
, or all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have the same ones.

Imagine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
with no crime, no terrorism, no warfare, no conflicts of cultures, no racism, no gender discrimination, no poisoned tongues, no killing, no lying, no stealing, no adultery and no excuses. Such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can never exist. It would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
even to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of one. A perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of social inequality, or as I call it, a distinction inability. Those in the higher strata of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would be there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their superior abilities and have greater responsibilities and,
therefore
, a higher social standing. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
struggle. If you had no struggle in life would you be happy? No,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that takes all the fun and enjoyment out of the difficulty, the losing, the failures, and the overcoming, the victory, the success.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways in which we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a democracy and a strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which has the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
over the country. It should try to
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make
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
citizens&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better by making better social and financial conditions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. There should be no corruption in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Finally
, I believe, one of the most necessary things in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
. No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are happy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
when they are not free.
However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remember that
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
‘One’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
ends there
Did you mean "were", the simple past of "to be"?
where
other’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
’. If we
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will feel
free and do not disturb others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
we will have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to everybody and complete individuality.

To sum up, I pen down saying that, a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is difficult to attain as everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
concepts of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
, if we all respect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
and in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
know our limitations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that others can enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
then it can
be called
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay History tells that people have often thought about creating an ideal society but most of the times fail in making this happen What is your opinion about an ideal society How can we create an ideal society v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
447 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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