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People often do not interact with their neighbours and this is harming communities. What are the possible causes and solutions? v.2

People often do not interact with their neighbours and this is harming communities. What are the possible causes and solutions? v. 2
The neighbours are not talking with each other as much as they should and this is being harmful for the neighbourhoods. One possible cause of this lack of interaction is that people do not realize the benefits of a strong and united community. So, a solution might come from city officials by stimulating community groups. First of all, people are usually isolated on their own bubbles and do not perceive the many benefits a close relation with neighbours can have. Thus, people are usually overconfident in what they can achieve alone. For instance, someone might think that either sending an e-mail or giving a call to the city council will be enough in order to solve a problem in his or her street, when in fact it will not be enough. Consequently, with not sufficient pressure from the population nothing will be done for solving the problems. Therefore, this lack of interaction problem can be mitigated by the city council stimulating community groups. Hence, if proper incentives are given for a while to the local people, a trend can start and no more incentives will be needed. For example, the city council could lower taxation for some months on people which are attending to the group meetings. Thereafter, people will start to perceive the advantages of having not only a close interaction with the neighbours but also a strong group community. In conclusion, people do not usually interact with their neighbours, because they are not fully aware about the advantages of this interaction, such as solving local community problems. Hence, a possible solution might be incentives coming from the city council to participants of local community groups.
The
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
are not talking with each other as much as they should and this is being harmful for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
. One possible cause of this lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not realize the benefits of a strong and united
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a solution might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from city officials by stimulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
groups.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
isolated on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bubbles and do not perceive the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits a close relation with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
can have.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
overconfident in what they can achieve alone.
For instance
, someone might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that either sending an e-mail or giving a call to the city council will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in order to solve a problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
street, when in fact it will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Consequently
, with not sufficient pressure from the population nothing will
be done
for solving the problems.

Therefore
, this lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
problem can
be mitigated
by the city council stimulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
Hence
, if proper incentives are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for a while to the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, a trend can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and no more incentives will
be needed
.
For example
, the city council could lower taxation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
months on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which are attending to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
meetings. Thereafter,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to perceive the advantages of having not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
community.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
usually
interact with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not
fully
aware about the advantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
, such as solving local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
problems.
Hence
, a possible solution might be incentives coming from the city council to participants of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People often do not interact with their neighbours and this is harming communities. What are the possible causes and solutions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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