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People often do not interact with their neighbours and this is harming communities, what are the possible causes and solutions? v.2

People often do not interact with their neighbours and this is harming communities, what are the possible causes and solutions? v. 2
It is true that neighbours do not mingle with themselves and it is destroying the society. There are several reasons for this trend, such as an increase in the level of insecurity and people busy work schedules. However, the government and the community can take certain measures to curb this problem. The main reason why people do not interact with people living in the same vicinity is due to an increase in criminal activities within their environment. The growing rate of insecurity has led to erection of large barriers, such as high fences and gates between houses in a bid to protect themselves better; however, it makes it difficult for people to look out for their neighbour’s welfare. For instance, the residents of Kings Court estate revealed that the high barriers surrounding their homes were designed to protect their lives and properties from robbers, but it prevents them from taking care of others people belongings. In addition, people are occupied with busy work schedules. Many individual spend a lot of time at work, which hinders them from mingling with their neighbours at home. The government can tackle the lack of relationship by improving security measures within residential areas. The provision of constant security patrol teams within the neighbourhood will allow residents feel more secure and demolish their high fences. In addition, the community should organise neighbourhood activities, which will encourage people socialize and mingle better. For example, In 2015. The Mayflower estate organise a year-end party as a platform to introduce its entire resident and encourage business networking amongst them. This gathering led to better communal relationship within the estate. In conclusion, people do not relate to an individual living in the same environment and it is destroying communal bond. There are various factors responsible for this, but the community and government can tackle it by providing better security measures and organising neighbourhood activities.
It is true that
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
do not mingle with themselves and it is destroying the society. There are several reasons for this trend, such as an increase in the level of insecurity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
busy work schedules.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the community can take certain measures to curb this problem.

The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the same vicinity is due to an increase in criminal activities within their environment. The growing rate of insecurity has led to erection of large barriers, such as high fences and gates between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in a bid to protect themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
;
however
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to look out for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
’s welfare.
For instance
, the residents of Kings Court estate revealed that the high barriers surrounding their homes
were designed
to protect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and properties from robbers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from taking care of others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
belongings.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are occupied
with busy work schedules.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individual spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time at work, which hinders them from mingling with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
at home.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can tackle the lack of relationship by improving security measures within residential areas. The provision of constant security patrol teams within the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
residents feel more secure and demolish their high fences.
In addition
, the community should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
activities, which will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
socialize and mingle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
For example
, In 2015. The Mayflower estate
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
a year-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
party as a platform to introduce its entire resident and encourage business networking amongst them. This gathering led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
communal relationship within the estate.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not relate to an individual living in the same environment and it is destroying communal bond. There are various factors responsible for this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the community and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can tackle it by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
security measures and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
activities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People often do not interact with their neighbours and this is harming communities, what are the possible causes and solutions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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