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People nowadays are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Advertising affects what people think is important and it has a negative influence on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People nowadays are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Advertising affects what people think is important and it has a negative influence on people’s lives. v. 1
Commercial are becoming the mainstream tool, which be used to mainly introduce the products. It is argued that advertisements influence straight to our mindset well as causing the drawback effects. I do agree with the crucial aim of various advertisings, which are also likely to completely cause a negative concern towards our live. On the one hand, I accept that advertisement is a key part of modern life. Companies need to tell customers about their products, which informs us in terms of the choice we can choose. Generally, advertisers focus on the customer latest trend and necessary goods in our life; as a result, we are encouraged to buy their items that we do believe more importantly. It becomes apparent that without advertising we would have less choice to purchase products with appropriate costs of living. Hence, if advertising campaign is unable to run with the maximizing aim, any concerns about the important ingredient and nutrition of products become irrelevant. On the other hand, advertising also brings more negative affect, especially related-children issue. To be specific, advertisers often aim their marketing at children as those can easily be influenced by their hobbies’ advertisements such as candy, Barbie dolls or superman toys. As a result, children are unconcerned to put pressure on parents to buy them things. Having considered both views, I think that advertising is of overriding importance, concentrating on our mind to effectively sell the items. Also, I would suggest that it should be controlled or even banned if products can be risk to healthy
Commercial are becoming the mainstream tool, which be
used
to
mainly
introduce the
products
. It
is argued
that advertisements influence straight to our mindset well as causing the drawback effects. I do
agree
with the crucial aim of various
advertisings
, which are
also
likely to completely cause a
negative
concern towards our
live
.

On the one hand, I accept that advertisement is a key part of modern life.
Companies
need to
tell
customers about their
products
, which informs us in terms of the choice we can choose.
Generally
, advertisers focus on the customer
latest
trend and necessary
goods
in our life;
as a result
, we
are encouraged
to
buy
their items that we do believe more
importantly
. It becomes apparent that without advertising we would have less choice to
purchase
products
with appropriate costs of living.
Hence
, if advertising campaign is unable to run with the maximizing aim, any concerns about the
important
ingredient and nutrition of
products
become irrelevant.

On the other hand
, advertising
also
brings more
negative
affect,
especially
related-children issue. To be specific, advertisers
often
aim their marketing at children as
those can
easily
be influenced
by their hobbies’ advertisements such as candy, Barbie dolls or superman toys.
As a result
, children
are unconcerned
to put pressure on parents to
buy
them things.

Having considered both views, I
think
that advertising is of overriding importance, concentrating on our mind to
effectively
sell the items.
Also
, I would suggest that it should
be controlled
or even banned if
products
can be
risk
to healthy
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People nowadays are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Advertising affects what people think is important and it has a negative influence on people’s lives. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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