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Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference. v.1

Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference. v. 1
It is clear from the topic that the university students have a choice to live either in a university campus or in an apartment. Both have advantages. This essay will discuss about the merits of living students in dormitories and also give some merits of living in apartments. In this regard, I would like to give my reasons to support my view. Firstly, to live in university housing, students gets lots of benefits, such as, they will easily connect with the professors, communicate with other students, so that, they develop their communication skills. Secondly, in University campus, the internet is easily accessible. However, students can easily find their study materials through it. Thirdly, library facilities are also available in dormitories. Students acquire knowledge by studying books in the library. Moreover, transportation is also not necessary by staying at the university campus. In contrast to this, living apartmnets, has also some advantages. Here, students can choose their rooms according to their needs. Furthermore, their study time will be adjusted according to their time. They should not be disturbed by anybody. For example, if someone has habit to study ay night, in this case, they can easily read by staying in apartments. Because, no one is there to disturb them. Another reason is that students can save money to live in apartments. But, it is obvious to say that staying alone in dormitories may create stress, feeling of loneliness amongst the students. to sum up, in my opinion, I would like to prefer to live in university housing. The reason is that I preferably like to make friends. In this regard, I might get help with the friends and at least i donot have the feeling of loneliness. So, better to live in university campus rather than in apartments.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the topic that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
either in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
campus or in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
. Both have advantages. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
merits of living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in dormitories and
also
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
. In this regard, I would like to give my reasons to support my view.

Firstly
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
housing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
lots of benefits, such as, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
connect with the professors, communicate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they develop their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
campus, the internet is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
accessible.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
find their study materials through it.
Thirdly
, library facilities are
also
available in dormitories.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
acquire knowledge by studying books in the library.
Moreover
, transportation is
also
not necessary by staying at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
campus.

In contrast
to this, living
Possible spelling mistake found.
apartmnets
, has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages. Here,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can choose their rooms according to their needs.
Furthermore
, their study time will
be adjusted
according to their time. They should not
be disturbed
by anybody.
For example
, if someone has habit to study
Possible spelling mistake found.
ay
night,
in this case
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
read by staying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, no one is there to disturb them. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can save money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it is obvious to say that staying alone in dormitories may create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, feeling of loneliness amongst the students.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
sum up, in my opinion, I would like to prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
housing. The reason is that I
preferably
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends. In this regard, I might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the friends and at least i
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
have the feeling of loneliness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
campus
rather
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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