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People are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Some people believe that advertising has a negative effect on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

People are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Some people believe that advertising has a negative effect on people’s lives. v. 4
Nowadays, advertising is becoming one of the unavoidable parts of the modern life with the appearance of commercials being everywhere from physical advertisement such as flyer, brochure, magazine and newspaper to digital one known as pop-up ads on website, banners on the social networks. Although it is undeniable that those bring some benefits for consumers in providing about different products, I am an advocate for the statement that advertising makes an impact on people’s lives. It is the fact that commercial businesses create the advertisement for the only purpose, boosting their sales. To reach this target, firstly, they may use commercials with pretty images and attractive descriptions for their products. The appearance of celebrities or successful people featuring with their products aims to persuade people that buying them will make them happier, although sometimes it is not necessary and useful. The companies may exaggerate their product’s features to make people think that they have to purchase for using immediately. For example, many of dairy companies indicate that calcium in their milk helps children grow taller, therefore, there is a growing belief in many parents that their children only need to drink milk to be taller. Unfortunately, they do not know that some researches have shown that milk do not provide nutrients adequately for children aged more than 2 years old. Secondly, to approach the enormous number of people, companies advertise their products through many mediums such as radio, magazines, billboards, the Internet, newspapers, and most popularly, movies & television that degrades urban landscape, annoys the Internet users and disturbs TV audience. I doubt that you will be angry and tired if you see and watch the same ads of one product in all mediums for a long time. Thirdly, to search for potential consumers, the information of people may be collected from social networks for the advertising purpose. Therefore, for instance, the data of Facebook users have been always collected and analyzed for advertising, in other words, the user privacy have been attempted and private information is in a high risk for leakage. In general, advertising is likely a monster disturbing people’s mind and having many negative effects as well as some benefits so that it should be regulated and consumers should be more smarter.
Nowadays, advertising is becoming one of the unavoidable parts of the modern life with the appearance of commercials being everywhere from physical advertisement such as flyer, brochure, magazine and newspaper to digital one known as pop-up ads on website, banners on the social networks. Although it is undeniable that those bring
some
benefits for consumers in providing about
different
products
, I am an advocate for the statement that advertising
makes
an impact on
people’s
lives
.

It is the fact that commercial businesses create the advertisement for the
only
purpose, boosting their sales. To reach this target,
firstly
, they may
use
commercials with pretty images and attractive descriptions for their
products
. The appearance of celebrities or successful
people
featuring with their
products
aims to persuade
people
that buying them will
make
them happier, although
sometimes
it is not necessary and useful. The
companies
may exaggerate their
product’s
features to
make
people
think
that they
have to
purchase
for using immediately.
For example
,
many
of dairy
companies
indicate
that


calcium
in their milk
helps
children grow taller,
therefore
, there is a growing belief in
many
parents that their children
only
need to drink milk to be taller. Unfortunately, they do not know that
some
researches have shown that milk do not provide nutrients
adequately
for children aged more than 2 years
old
.
Secondly
, to approach the enormous number of
people
,
companies
advertise their
products
through
many
mediums such as radio, magazines, billboards, the Internet, newspapers, and most
popularly
, movies
&amp
; television that degrades urban landscape, annoys the Internet users and disturbs TV audience. I doubt that you will be angry and tired if you
see
and
watch
the same ads of one
product
in all mediums for a long time.

Thirdly
, to search for potential consumers, the information of
people
may
be collected
from social networks for the advertising purpose.
Therefore
,
for instance
, the data of Facebook users
have been always
collected and analyzed for advertising,
in other words
, the user privacy have
been attempted
and private information is in a high
risk
for leakage.

In general
, advertising is likely a monster disturbing
people’s
mind and having
many
negative
effects
as well
as
some
benefits
so
that it should
be regulated
and consumers should be
more smarter
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Some people believe that advertising has a negative effect on people’s lives. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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