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People nowadays are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Advertising affects what people think is important and it has a negative influence on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

People nowadays are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Advertising affects what people think is important and it has a negative influence on people’s lives. v. 2
As we are living in a more digitalised era, we found ourselves constantly influenced by commercials of all kinds. There's no denying that the information they contain can both consciously and subconsciously affect our decision making, I do not believe that all of the impact is negative. We can't overlook the amount of social impact advertising have on our society, especially for the younger generations. Since minors are still in the process of forming their world view and have little real life experience, the information passed down by the mass media can have a profound influence on them. In the 80s, for example, cigarette commercials were ubiquitous and smoking were considered cool. As a result, teenagers of that time were more likely to develop the habit of smoking. This took a toll on the entire national health and became a major public concern. Clearly, this example illustrates that commercial can easily shape our belief system, especially in the early ages. That being said, however, I don't share the view that all advertisements yield ill results. The best example would be charity commercials for non-profits. For instance, the World Wild Animal recently launched a grass-root campaign in major US cities. The campaign advocated for animal natural habitant's preservation. Not only did the organization distribute one-minute short YouTube videos about the daily life of the animals for awareness building, they also posted posters for fund raising. In the end, it gathered enough money to preserve and support 7 different habitats for 3 years. This magnificent case shows us the positive impact of advertisement could bring. In conclusion, it is true that commercials will shape the way we see the world. While some of them might bring negativity to the society, others bring out of the best of people.
As we are living in a more
digitalised
era, we found ourselves
constantly
influenced by commercials of all kinds. There's no denying that the information they contain can both
consciously
and
subconsciously
affect our
decision making
, I do not believe that
all of the
impact is
negative
.

We can't overlook the amount of social impact advertising have on our society,
especially
for the younger generations. Since minors are
still
in the process of forming their world view and have
little
real life experience, the information passed down by the mass media can have a profound influence on them. In the 80s,
for example
, cigarette commercials were ubiquitous and smoking
were considered
cool.
As a result
,
teenagers
of that time were more likely to develop the habit of smoking. This took a toll on the entire national health and became a major public concern.
Clearly
, this example illustrates that
commercial
can
easily
shape our belief system,
especially
in the early ages.

That
being said
,
however
, I don't share the view that all advertisements yield ill results. The best example would be charity commercials for non-profits.
For instance
, the World Wild Animal recently launched a grass-root campaign in major US cities. The campaign advocated for animal natural habitant's preservation. Not
only
did the organization distribute one-minute short YouTube videos about the daily life of the animals for awareness building, they
also
posted posters for
fund raising
. In the
end
, it gathered
enough
money to preserve and support 7
different
habitats for 3 years. This magnificent case
shows
us the
positive
impact of advertisement could bring.

In conclusion
, it is true that commercials will shape the way we
see
the world. While
some
of them might bring negativity to the society, others bring out of the best of
people
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People nowadays are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Advertising affects what people think is important and it has a negative influence on people’s lives. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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