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People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. v.2

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. v. 2
Nowadays people are doing anything whatever they want. In particular, this is possible because of improvement of transport and transmission machinery. For me it is obvious that these are bringing many advantages as well as some of the disadvantages. In this modern era, we cannot do anything without the aid of the development of delivery machinery and transport. A major advantage of this is the development of skilled personal. To be more precise, There are lots of ways to improve skilled with the help of machinery such as conversation skilled that is most important in one person's life. for example, a few decades ago, We had to transmission via written letter, whereas now we can send any message to anywhere in this modern Earth. In the same vein, the value of time is the most significant thing nowadays while it is playing the vital role of our life. The aids of connection machinery and shipping can save our time and waste of money as well. In other words, many Businessmen who are always busy with their dealing of business do not have sufficient time to meet with their partners. This is the most effective way to take the help of machinery and transport. For instance, they are able to contact with their client by the means of electronic devices such as mobile-phone computer and many other gadgets. On the other hand, Sometimes this is bringing some drawback as well. One major drawback is unemployment where nowadays most of the multinational companies are taking many benefits of machinery and shipment that is reducing many jobs. A clear example of this is many electronic devices such as robots, computer and so on. To be more precise, Bujonbari, the most popular restaurant in Bangladesh, has many robot workers, which are continuing working day to night instead of human beings. To sum up, the aids of transmission automation and shipping contribute in this modern age. It has long been my belief that these have many advantages and a little bit of drawbacks as well. If the government has taken appropriate steps against these, the situation of the drawback would be reduced.
Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are doing anything whatever they want.
In particular
, this is possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of improvement of transport and transmission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
. For me it is obvious that these are bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
disadvantages.

In this modern era, we cannot do anything without the aid of the development of delivery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
and transport. A major advantage of this is the development of skilled personal. To be more precise, There are lots of ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
skilled with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
such as conversation skilled
that is
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in one person's life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, a few decades ago, We had to transmission via written letter, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
any message to anywhere in this modern Earth. In the same vein, the value of time is the most significant thing nowadays while it is playing the vital role of our life. The aids of connection
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
and shipping can save our time and waste of money as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Businessmen who are always busy with their dealing of business do not have sufficient time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with their partners. This is the most effective way to take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
and transport.
For instance
, they are able to contact with their client by the means of electronic devices such as mobile-phone computer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other gadgets.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
this is bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawback
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. One major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawback
is unemployment where nowadays most of the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
and shipment
that is
reducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronic devices such as robots, computer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To be more precise,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bujonbari
, the most popular restaurant in Bangladesh, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
robot workers, which are continuing working day to night
instead
of human beings.

To sum up, the aids of transmission automation and shipping contribute in this modern age. It has long been my belief that these have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has taken appropriate steps against these, the situation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawback
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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