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Some people prefer to work in the same type of job throughout their lifetime while others like to change the type of job they do. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people prefer to work in the same type of job throughout their lifetime while others like to change the type of job they do. v. 1
In a contemporary era, change is a person's life and everything happens for a reason, whether it is good or bad individuals have to do anything. There are few denizens who prefer to do the same profession for a lifetime while others move from one task to another. This essay will contain both aspects before ready my opinion To begin with, there are many reasons why dwellers like sticking to one post. As, it gives them a satisfaction to job for their company because the individuals are loyal to their occupation and never cheat them in future. Additionally, they feel that they can get promotion or instinctive and it will and it will be more beneficial for them to stick in the recruitment. As a result, people are enjoying their task because from childhood they are very fond of their career and it won't be good if the individuals will go for another career and after they will be not comfortable so it will be a loss for them also. For instance; An article published by the tribune' that individuals always make right choices for their future goal and there is also much better effort-life balance if a person's job is stable and secure. Furthermore, there are more advantages if denizens' will change jobs as they can get more knowledge to do other work like nowadays people do online work like teaching, art and all and it give them a secure life balance even in their free time they can do more works from online sites like writing, baking and the individuals gain more sensibility. As a result, masses should do other work not because of money, but they can gain more sensibility and new ideas if they will do another occupation. To sum up, there is no issue to stick in on one recruitment only, but from my opinion, person should do more things and being in different group they can gain more ideas and knowledge as it lead them to a positive side only.
In a contemporary era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is a person's life and everything happens for a reason, whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do anything. There are few denizens who prefer to do the same profession for a lifetime while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one task to another. This essay will contain both aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
ready my opinion

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why dwellers like sticking to one post. As, it gives them a satisfaction to job for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are loyal to their occupation and never cheat them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Additionally
, they feel that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promotion or instinctive and it will and it will be more beneficial for them to stick in the recruitment.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are enjoying their task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
from childhood they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fond of their career and it won't be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
will go for another career and after they will be not comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will be a loss for them
also
.
For instance
; An article published by the tribune' that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
right choices for their future goal and there is
also
much better effort-life balance if a person's job is stable and secure.

Furthermore
, there are more advantages if denizens' will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
jobs as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge to do other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
like nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
like teaching, art and all and it
Did you mean "gives"?
give
them a secure life balance even in their free time they can do more works from online sites like writing, baking and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
gain more sensibility.
As a result
, masses should do other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can gain more sensibility and new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
if they will do another occupation.

To sum up, there is no issue to stick in on one recruitment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from my opinion, person should do more things and being in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
group they can gain more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and knowledge as it lead them to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people prefer to work in the same type of job throughout their lifetime while others like to change the type of job they do. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
336 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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