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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.17

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 17
Shopping online, especially buying books, air tickets and groceries is getting viral among our life. In my point of view, though it absolutely has pros and cons, the strongpoints nearly overbalance the weaknesses. Firstly, it is no doubt that buying stuffs from the Internet has lots of hidden risks. Since we trade goods and money through the desktop’s screen, the possibility of being taken in is very high. In addition, hacker can also use your personal information such as: ID number, credit card number, . . For illegal purpose. On the other hand, shopping online firstly is extremely convenient and save time for us since in this modern life, people seem to fall in love with work more than with themselves or their family. Nowadays, the world is facing with an outbreak of Corona plague, it will prevent us from going out for buying stuffs and communicating with others people who can have pathogens inside their body. Besides, since shopping online era is opened, a number of countries will have another potential channel for consuming domestic and international goods, provide a rich financial resource for the country’s economy. Furthermore, it will also bring the number of employment opportunities for locals and decrease unemployment rate - the common concern of a whole society. To sum up, although buying goods from the Internet still exist some potential drawbacks, it is my belief that the benefits of shopping online will bring us a comfortable life as the main purpose of shopping online is increasing the standards of our life.
Shopping
online
,
especially
buying
books, air tickets and groceries is getting viral among our
life
. In my point of view, though it
absolutely
has pros and cons, the
strongpoints
nearly
overbalance the weaknesses.

Firstly
, it is no doubt that
buying
stuffs from the Internet has lots of hidden
risks
. Since we trade
goods
and money through the desktop’s screen, the possibility of
being taken
in is
very
high.
In addition
, hacker can
also
use
your personal information such as: ID
number
, credit card
number
, .
.
For illegal purpose.

On the other hand
,
shopping
online
firstly
is
extremely
convenient and save time for us since in this modern
life
,
people
seem to fall in
love
with work more than with themselves or their family. Nowadays, the world is facing with an outbreak of Corona plague, it will
prevent
us from going out for
buying
stuffs and communicating with others
people
who can have pathogens inside their body.

Besides
, since
shopping
online
era
is opened
, a
number
of countries will have another potential channel for consuming domestic and international
goods
, provide a rich financial resource for the country’s economy.
Furthermore
, it will
also
bring the
number
of employment opportunities for locals and decrease unemployment rate
-
the common concern of a whole society.

To sum up, although
buying
goods
from the Internet
still
exist
some
potential drawbacks, it is my belief that the benefits of
shopping
online
will bring us a comfortable
life
as the main purpose of
shopping
online
is increasing the standards of our
life
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 17

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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