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People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Enhancement in communication technology and transportation allowed people to have flexible choices for work and living in recent years. While some people appreciate this phenomenon because of improved work and life balance, as well as increased job satisfaction, others concern drawbacks of this matter. This essay will explore both benefits and drawbacks of this topic and give reasons why having the freedom of deciding working and residential locations is appreciated. Having flexible options in terms of work and live promotes balanced professional and personal life balance. For example, people can commute using a variety of transport methods such as bullet trains and cars, or even choose to work from home with an aid of the internet. This allows people to remain on the hometown while working in a company which may be located far from home. As there will be more job opportunities, people can pursue their career without limitation rather than giving up taking a better job opportunity, which had it been impossible without technological advancement. This further leads to increased job satisfaction. For these reasons, the development of communication technology and transportation cannot be underrated. Nonetheless, there are some drawbacks associated with this matter. One of them is that increased carbon dioxide emissions, which relate to an environmental issue. As people travel long-distance using cars and trains, it consumes energy. Furthermore, working from home contributes to physical inactivity, which is correlated to increased risks of diseases such as cancers, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. Thus, detrimental effects of technological improvement should not be underestimated. In conclusion, although development of communication technology and transportation are associated with some disadvantages such as the environment issue and increased risks of certain illnesses, advantages still outweigh the disadvantages. It contributes to work-life balance as well as increased job satisfaction by providing flexible options for working and living locations.
Enhancement in communication technology and transportation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have flexible choices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and living in recent years. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate this phenomenon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and life balance,
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction, others concern drawbacks of this matter. This essay will explore both benefits and drawbacks of this topic and give reasons why having the freedom of deciding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and residential locations
is appreciated
.

Having flexible options in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
promotes balanced professional and personal life balance.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can commute using a variety of transport methods such as bullet trains and cars, or even choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home with an aid of the internet. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to remain on the hometown while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which may
be located
far from home. As there will be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can pursue their career without limitation
rather
than giving up taking a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity, which had it been impossible without technological advancement. This
further
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. For these reasons, the development of communication technology and transportation cannot
be underrated
.

Nonetheless, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks associated with this matter. One of them is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
carbon dioxide emissions, which relate to an environmental issue. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel long-distance using cars and trains, it consumes energy.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home contributes to physical inactivity, which
is correlated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of diseases such as cancers, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases.
Thus
, detrimental effects of technological improvement should not
be underestimated
.

In conclusion
, although development of communication technology and transportation
are associated
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages such as the environment issue and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of certain illnesses, advantages
still
outweigh the disadvantages. It contributes to work-life balance
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction by providing flexible options for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and living locations.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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