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international funds should be used to develop basic infra stuctre, do you agree or disagree v.1

international funds should be used to develop basic infra stuctre, v. 1
Nowadays, many economically deprived countries are financially supported by international funds. There is an opinion that primarily this assistance can be channelized for developing the basic infra- structure of these. I, personally, consider this would tremendously benefit both these nations and their citizens. First of all, it is an indisputable fact that when the funding properly use for constructing basic amenities: hospitals, road networks, and schools would uplift the standard of living of the people. In other words, having provided better facilities, people started to enjoy an advanced level of life style; therefore they would be delighted to contribute to the national development. By contrast, if individuals were not provided minimal requirements, which need for daily living, they would end up in extreme poverty, eventually, turn against the legal system to make money to support family and himself. Yet another reason is to point out here is that as infra- structures of any country improve that attract well-known investors to start their business in these areas. It has been seen that, for instance, Apple company, a renowned business firm, built its production units in developing countries whoever were previously received international support and they utilised the amount exclusively for developing their basic infrastructure. Despite of some minor drawbacks of these help, financial dependability towards these aid agencies, can be neglected, this has been largely helped several under privileged nations to become economically stable. By way of conclusion, I again reaffirm that, spending international financial support for developing amenities is far better than allocating to anything else. It is also predicted that by doing this most of the poor nation could be uplifted.
Nowadays,
many
economically
deprived countries are
financially
supported by international funds. There is an opinion that
primarily
this assistance can
be channelized
for
developing
the basic infra- structure of these. I,
personally
, consider this would
tremendously
benefit both these nations and their citizens.

First of all
, it is an indisputable fact that when the funding
properly
use
for constructing basic amenities: hospitals, road networks, and schools would uplift the standard of living of the
people
.
In other words
, having provided better facilities,
people
started
to enjoy an advanced level of life style;
therefore
they would
be delighted
to contribute to the national development. By contrast, if individuals were not provided minimal requirements, which need for daily living, they would
end
up in extreme poverty,
eventually
, turn against the legal system to
make
money to support family and himself.

Yet
another reason is to point out here is that as infra- structures of any country
improve
that attract well-known investors to
start
their business in these areas. It has been
seen
that,
for instance
, Apple
company
, a renowned business firm, built its production units in
developing
countries whoever were previously received international
support and
they
utilised
the amount exclusively for
developing
their basic infrastructure.
Despite of
some
minor drawbacks of these
help
, financial dependability towards these aid agencies, can
be neglected
, this has been
largely
helped
several under privileged nations to become
economically
stable.

By way of conclusion, I again reaffirm that, spending international financial support for
developing
amenities is far better than allocating to anything else. It is
also
predicted that by doing this most of the poor nation could
be uplifted
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay international funds should be used to develop basic infra stuctre, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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