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In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What are the reasons for this and how can it be solved? v.9

In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What are the reasons for this and how can it be solved? v. 9
It is clear that a healthy life is important based on the how you are living. Nowadays, more health problems due to people choose to stay in unhealthy environments in many countries. In this essay, we will discuss the reasons of unhealthy conditions and how it will solve. Firstly, most of the cities, people who are living in not the best environment as a result, they will get health problems very quickly. For example, people are living in a concrete jungle, they do not get purified air due to lack of trees. A lot of them using vehicles which emit more carbon-di-oxide and carbon monoxide. These two are very dangerous to cause lung cancer to infants and old age people. To solve this kind of problems, the environment or surrounding where more people living area should have large parks, increase lot of trees and the government should take action on these. The government should maintain greenery in the city and install an air purifier everywhere in the city. The government should take action and control the air pollution from the vehicles. People should strictly maintain the vehicle pollution check. Secondly, slums in the city need to be clean and clear to not get any diseases. For example, slums, having no drainage, people not maintained well. As a result, It causes unhealthy conditions for the people who are living in slums. The government properly implements underground drainage everywhere in the city. If not implemented, then all the roadblock with drainage water, it causes diarrhoea, malaria, dengue fever to the people. To solve this, the government should take proper action on drainages. At the conclusion, the government should take action on a healthy environment like proper drainages, large parks, maintain a greeneries in the city to solve unhealthy conditions, which are impacted to people who are living in the area.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a healthy life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
based on
Did you mean "how"?
the how
you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. Nowadays, more health problems due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. In this essay, we will discuss the reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
conditions and how it will solve.

Firstly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in not the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
as a result
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
health problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a concrete jungle, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
purified air due to lack of trees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
them using vehicles which emit more
Possible spelling mistake found.
carbon-di-oxide
and carbon monoxide. These two are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to cause lung cancer to infants and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To solve this kind of problems, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
or surrounding where more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
area should have large parks, increase
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
trees and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
on these. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should maintain greenery in the city and install an air purifier everywhere in the city. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
and control the air pollution from the vehicles.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
strictly
maintain the vehicle pollution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
.

Secondly
, slums in the city need to be clean and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any diseases.
For example
, slums, having no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drainage
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not maintained well.
As a result
, It causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
conditions for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in slums. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
properly
implements underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drainage
everywhere in the city. If not implemented, then all the roadblock with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drainage
water, it causes
Possible spelling mistake. 'diarrhoea' is British English.
diarrhoea
, malaria, dengue fever to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To solve this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
on drainages.

At the conclusion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
on a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
like proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drainages
, large parks, maintain
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a greenery" or simply "greeneries"?
a greeneries
in the city to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
conditions, which
are impacted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the area.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What are the reasons for this and how can it be solved? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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