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People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
It is true that enhancement in communication technology and transportation allowed people to have flexible choices for work and living in recent years. Although people have manifold different views, I believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages. . On the one hand, having flexible options in terms of job and live promotes balanced professional and personal life. For example, individuals can commute using a variety of transport methods like private cars, buses and trains, or even elect to work from home with an aid of the internet. This allows people to remain on the hometown while working in a company which may be located far from home. By various choices of working and living locations, the door of better job opportunities is widely opened and work productivity is improved. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks associated with this phenomenon. Firstly, air quality is deteriorating by virtue of the increasing of carbon emissions, which is from transportations. As people travel long-distance using motorbikes, cars and trains, it consumes energy. Moreover, working from home leads to a sedentary lifestyle. They no longer go to police officers like before and just stay at home and complete all the tasks in job through the internet. Therefore, people are more likely to suffer from chronic diseases such as diabetes and cardiovascular diseases In conclusion, I would argue that the benefits of having freedom of deciding working and residential locations by dint of the growth of communication technology and transportation outweigh the drawbacks
It is true that enhancement in communication technology and transportation
allowed
people
to have flexible choices for work and living in recent years. Although
people
have manifold
different
views, I believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages.
.


On the one hand, having flexible options in terms of job and
live
promotes balanced professional and personal life.
For example
, individuals can commute using a variety of transport methods like private cars, buses and trains, or even elect to work from home with an aid of the internet. This
allows
people
to remain on the hometown while
working
in a
company
which may
be located
far from home. By various choices of
working
and living locations, the door of better job opportunities is
widely
opened and work productivity is
improved
.

On the other hand
, there are
some
drawbacks associated with this phenomenon.
Firstly
, air quality is deteriorating by virtue of the increasing of carbon emissions, which is from transportations. As
people
travel long-distance using motorbikes, cars and trains, it consumes energy.
Moreover
,
working
from home leads to a sedentary lifestyle. They no longer go to police officers like
before
and
just
stay at home and complete all the tasks in job through the internet.
Therefore
,
people
are more likely to suffer from chronic diseases such as diabetes and cardiovascular diseases

In conclusion
, I would argue that the benefits of having freedom of deciding
working
and residential locations by dint of the growth of communication technology and transportation outweigh the drawbacks
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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