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Some parents believe that reading books for entertainment is a waste of time for children and they think that their children should read only read serious educational books. What is your opinion? v.1

Some parents believe that reading books for entertainment is a waste of time for children and they think that their children should read only read serious educational books. What is your opinion? v. 1
It is often argued that students giving more priority to read any comic book or story book rather than reading an academic book is a form of wasting time. Although reading academic books is good for the student's education, I firmly believe that reading comic books and/or story books improves creativity and imagination which in turn can help a student to improve his or her aptitude and reasoning skills. To begin with, academic books only represent the theories and associated assumptions of the respective subject which requires further explanation in other ways. For example, a theory in physics might be hard to understand without a practical explanation. This limits the students to gain knowledge about a topic from a single source of information which can be a mood killer for someone who has a passion for reading. On the other hand, comic or story books are self-explanatory which can be understood without any further clarification. This enables students to adapt reading at ease. Furthermore, some story books or novels consist general knowledge regarding social activities and behaviours which can help a student to understand the ways of the society. Hence a student should be enabled to have freedom to read whatever he or she believes is easy or necessary. In conclusion, reading book of any genre can be considered a good habit when compared to other ways of entertainment such as mobiles, internet etc. And I think that time spent reading a book can never be considered as a waste. However, the parents should be open minded while allowing their children to receive any information which is written in the form.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
giving more priority to read any comic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
an academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is a form of wasting time. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the student's education, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
comic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and/or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
creativity and imagination which in turn can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
aptitude and reasoning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
represent the theories and associated assumptions of the respective subject which requires
further
explanation in other ways.
For example
, a theory in physics might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand without a practical explanation. This limits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gain knowledge about a topic from a single source of information which can be a mood killer for someone who has a passion for reading.

On the other hand
, comic or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are self-explanatory which can
be understood
without any
further
clarification. This enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to adapt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or novels consist general knowledge regarding social activities and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to understand the ways of the society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should
be enabled
to have freedom to read whatever he or she believes is easy or necessary.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
of any genre can
be considered
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit when compared to other ways of entertainment such as mobiles, internet etc. And I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that time spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
can never
be considered
as a waste.
However
, the parents should be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
while allowing their children to receive any information which
is written
in the form.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some parents believe that reading books for entertainment is a waste of time for children and they think that their children should read only read serious educational books. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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