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People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v. 3
In recent years, the purpose of government spending has always been a controversial issue. It is often believed that the government funding in the arts, like music and cinema, is futile, while others think that it should spend the capital for the citizen's welfare. I completely agree that the political power in force 0should fund the public services rather than art. This essay will discuss why spending money on people's services will be advantageous. To begin with, authorities can aid in education. Illiteracy is the major issue which should be dealt with. The government must fund the school's so that the children receive the basic requirements for study. For example, recently in India, the government has provided students with free books and stationary. In short, investing money in the education system is essential to literate the masses. Secondly, the health care is another field which requires investment. The government should provide free medicines and treatment to the local public. This will reduce the burden from the shoulders of the folks and they would not ignore their well-being and receive treatment from the doctor. For instance, in a survey in Malaysia, it is found that 90% people were visiting the hospitals to treat themselves because of free treatment and medicines. Therefore, the government must spend on the health system to enhance the public life. To conclude, although art plays a vital role in entertaining the masses, the health care and education is the utmost necessity of citizens. I completely agree to the fact that the government should spend on public services. In future, if the government spends more money on the public welfare such as health and education, more people will be literate and be healthy. This will in turn lead to improve the economy of the country.
In recent years, the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spending has always been a controversial issue. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding in the arts, like music and cinema, is futile, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the capital for the citizen's welfare. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the political power in force 0should fund the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services
rather
than art. This essay will discuss why spending money on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's services will be advantageous.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, authorities can aid in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Illiteracy is the major issue which should
be dealt
with. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
fund the school's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the children receive the basic requirements for study.
For example
, recently in India, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has provided students with free books and stationary. In short, investing money in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is essential to literate the masses.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care is another field which requires investment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide free medicines and treatment to the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden from the shoulders of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
folks and
they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their well-being and receive treatment from the doctor.
For instance
, in a survey in Malaysia, it
is found
that 90%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were visiting the hospitals to treat themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of free treatment and medicines.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
life.

To conclude
, although art plays a vital role in entertaining the masses, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the utmost necessity of citizens. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services.
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
more money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
welfare such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be literate and be healthy. This will in turn lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of the country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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