Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v.2

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2
Many people are afraid to make any life changing decisions. The main problem this causes is that people are unable to get rid of their bad habits and the most viable solution is that they can overcome this fear of change by increasing their knowledge. The principle problem associated with people afraid to bring about any change in their lives is that they are used to certain habits. Many individuals adopt bad habits like, smoking and drinking, and although they acknowledge their harmful effects, they are very happy to continue doing it because they find it comforting. The result of this is that people are more prone to many health problems, like obesity and diabetes, later in life. For example, according to the survey conducted by the American Health association, 40% of the general public have a habit of eating pizzas and burgers, even though they know that junk food is unhealthy. To tackle the problem, people should be encouraged to start reading and increase their knowledge. By gathering more information about the effects of their habits, people would be able to understand and adopt the changes they are good for them. This will undoubtedly have a positive effect on their mentality and they will be more comfortable to make those changes. For instance, a smoker is likely to stop smoking if he researches the harm that smoking does to his body. In conclusion, change is natural and people who resist it are only harming themselves by continuing some of their unhealthy habits, however the problem can be addressed by encouraging people to read more and, thus improve themselves.
Many
people
are afraid to
make
any life changing decisions. The main
problem
this causes is that
people
are unable to
get
rid of their
bad
habits
and the most viable solution is that they can overcome this fear of
change
by increasing their knowledge.

The principle
problem
associated with
people
afraid to bring about any
change
in their
lives
is that they are
used
to certain
habits
.
Many
individuals adopt
bad
habits
like, smoking and drinking, and although they acknowledge their harmful effects, they are
very
happy to continue doing it
because
they find it comforting. The result of this is that
people
are more prone to
many
health
problems
, like obesity and diabetes, later in life.
For example
, according to the survey conducted by the American Health association, 40% of the
general public
have a
habit
of eating pizzas and burgers,
even though
they know that junk food is unhealthy.

To tackle the
problem
,
people
should
be encouraged
to
start
reading and increase their knowledge. By gathering more information about the effects of their
habits
,
people
would be able to understand and adopt the
changes
they are
good
for them. This will
undoubtedly
have a
positive
effect on their
mentality and
they will be more comfortable to
make
those
changes
.
For instance
, a smoker is likely to
stop
smoking if he researches the harm that smoking does to his body.

In conclusion
,
change
is natural and
people
who resist it are
only
harming themselves by continuing
some
of their unhealthy
habits
,
however
the
problem
can
be addressed
by encouraging
people
to read more and,
thus
improve
themselves.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts