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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.10

There has been much discussion revolving around the decision of Government money investment in arts and public services. Although, I agree that it is important to spend money on public services, I do not think spending on the arts is a waste of money. The merits of public services and people who are getting benefits are apparent. Firstly, public services like Hospitals, education, roads are key to everyone life in this day and age. This is mainly due to fact that middle/poor class people are mainly depend on public services. If, Government does investment in public services than we will not get proper service from related sectors. As for common men there are some basic needs which they are not able to fulfill such as food, home, cloths. So, basically if Government spend money on basic entities that will not only create jobs but, it will make people life easier, and they can get home and enough food to survive. For example, average men can get basic medical treatment free or at minimum cost from Government Hospitals as compare to private Hospitals. They don't have to travel to another city for basic facilities. In contrast, some others may claim that arts, such as music and theatre are play vital role in country development. Apparently, It creates opportunities for jobless and represent the history of any country. However, in modern-day society, arts such as music and theatre are necessary for the entertainment and it helps everyone to make their lives as enjoyable. It can be seen that spending on the arts is not a waste of money. Having considered both views, I think Government investment in public services are of overriding investment in arts. Also, I would suggest that Government to provide basic services related to food, electricity and education, which I believe is soundly based on the above reasoning I have presented.
There has been much discussion revolving around the decision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. Although, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
spending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste of money.

The merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are getting benefits are apparent.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
like Hospitals, education, roads are key to everyone life in this day and age. This is
mainly
due to fact that middle/poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
mainly
depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
than we will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
from related sectors. As for common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs which they are not able to fulfill such as food, home, cloths.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
basically
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
entities that will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
life easier, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
food to survive.
For example
, average
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
medical treatment free or at minimum cost from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
Hospitals as compare to private Hospitals. They don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to another city for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
facilities.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others may claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, such as music and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
are play vital role in country development.
Apparently
, It creates opportunities for jobless and represent the history of any country.
However
, in modern-day society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as music and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
are necessary for the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
entertainment and
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as enjoyable. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that spending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is not a waste of money.

Having considered both views, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are of overriding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Also
, I would suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
related to food, electricity and education, which I believe is
soundly
based on the above reasoning I have presented.
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IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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