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Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines does this develoment has more advantages or disadvantaged. v.1

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines does this develoment has more advantages or disadvantaged. v. 1
Now a days most of the people are performing tasks with the help of machines however, they previously used to them manually. The drawbacks of this mechanical lifestyle are eclipsed by its numerous advantages. This essay will discuss how the positives of machines like time savage and efficiency overshadowed the negative of human addiction to mechanical work. To begin, the most common of modern machinery is developing human dependence upon them. Now a days machines of all sorts has been invented to perform all household chores, due to which people prefer to get all their jobs done by machines without their effort and hard work. This consequently affect their physically fitness they eventually start getting wait and become obese. Hence, depending so much on machines make people lazy and prone to illnesses. For example, a study conducted in America in 2007 proved that 75 % of modern population who accomplish their tasks through machines are predisposed to hypertension and coronary artery diseases. Taking in to account the advantages, firstly, performing chores via machines help us to save time. In this world of increasing professionalism machines act as a blessing in disguise specially for women as they can complete their tasks quickly. Therefore, they manage to have some ample time in which they can relax and take care of their family. For instance, a research paper launched in China about free working hours among common people, proposed that people using different appliances to perform tasks have 30% more relaxing hours than the others. Secondly, tasks done by machines are more efficient, while manually performed tasks contain errors because humans are prone to mistakes while computerized work is more accurate due to an installed software in it. It is exemplified by the weight machine, measurments taken by this is far more accurate than made by hand balance. In conclusion, the advantages like quickness and accuracy of machines over weigh their negative of human mechanical dependency. Thus, if someone limits the use of machins and try to do work on his own than this will surely prevent him from different diseases.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
however
, they previously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to them
manually
. The drawbacks of this mechanical lifestyle
are eclipsed
by its numerous advantages. This essay will discuss how the positives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
like time savage and efficiency overshadowed the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
addiction to mechanical work.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the most common of modern machinery is developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
dependence upon them.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
of all sorts has
been invented
to perform all household chores, due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all their jobs done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
without their effort and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. This
consequently
affect their
physically
fitness they
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
getting wait and become obese.
Hence
, depending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazy and prone to illnesses.
For example
, a study conducted in America in 2007 proved that 75 % of modern population who accomplish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are predisposed
to hypertension and coronary artery diseases.

Taking in to account the advantages,
firstly
, performing chores via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to save time. In this world of increasing professionalism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
act as a blessing in disguise
specially
for women as they can complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
quickly
.
Therefore
, they manage to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ample time in which they can relax and take care of their family.
For instance
, a research paper launched in China about free working hours among common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, proposed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
appliances to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
have 30% more relaxing hours than the others.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are more efficient, while
manually
performed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
contain errors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are prone to mistakes while computerized work is more accurate due to an installed software in it. It
is exemplified
by the weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
measurments
taken by this is far more accurate than made by hand balance.

In conclusion
, the advantages like quickness and accuracy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
over weigh their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
mechanical dependency.
Thus
, if someone limits the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
machins
and try to do work on his
Use "(own)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
own
than this will
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
him from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines does this develoment has more advantages or disadvantaged. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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