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Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money should be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree/disagree? v.1

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money should be spent elsewhere. v. 1
It is important to consider how authorities spend her finances. Some individuals are of the opinion that investing money on arts by the government is a total waste and this money should ne channelled on other projects such as improving the hospitals and educational institutions. While ì agree with this opinion, I will also argue that the art sector should not be neglected because they equally contribute in improving people's quality of life. Government spending should be focused majorly on the hospitals and schools. This is because these institutions are those that have a direct impact on the society. The hospitals are the ones that takes care of the health challenges citizens face and neglecting this very important sector will be hazardous. This is same with the learning institutions that ensures that the future of the country which are the young people are well tutored. For example, the UK government introduced a 21% cut on their national health insurance scheme and the resultant effect was a breakout of several diseases. Therefore, more funds should be allocated to this area. On the other hand, the arts industry should not be abandoned because they also contribute in promoting the social wellbeing of the citizens. This is owing to the fact that art centres like Cinema and Museums are places that art lovers often visit and depriving them of this basic necessity will certainly have a negative effect on them. In conclusion, although the government should apportion more of their budgetary allocations in financing the public services such as the schools and hospitals, they should not fail to equally make provisions for the art sector because they also help in he improvement of people's social life and wellbeing.
It is
important
to consider how authorities spend her finances.
Some
individuals are of the opinion that investing money on
arts
by the
government
is a total waste and this money should
ne
channelled on other projects such as improving the
hospitals
and educational institutions. While ì
agree
with this opinion, I will
also
argue that the
art
sector should not
be neglected
because
they
equally
contribute in improving
people
's quality of life.

Government
spending should
be focused
majorly
on the
hospitals
and schools. This is
because
these institutions are those that have a direct impact on the society. The
hospitals
are the ones that takes care of the health challenges citizens face and neglecting this
very
important
sector will be hazardous. This is same with the learning institutions that ensures that the future of the country which are the young
people
are well tutored.
For example
, the UK
government
introduced a 21%
cut
on their national health insurance scheme and the resultant effect was a breakout of several diseases.
Therefore
, more funds should
be allocated
to this area.

On the other hand
, the
arts
industry should not
be abandoned
because
they
also
contribute in promoting the social
wellbeing
of the citizens. This is owing to the fact that
art
centres
like Cinema and Museums are places that
art
lovers
often
visit and depriving them of this basic necessity will
certainly
have a
negative
effect on them.

In conclusion
, although the
government
should apportion more of their budgetary allocations in financing the public services such as the schools and
hospitals
, they should not fail to
equally
make
provisions for the
art
sector
because
they
also
help
in
he
improvement of
people
's social life and
wellbeing
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money should be spent elsewhere. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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