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People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life What are these problems Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns v.2

People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life What are these problems Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns v. 2
Nowadays, the overgrowth of population brings many problems that affect the citizen daily life. For example, traffic and pollution are the most popular problems that every people who live in a large city have to deal with. In my opinion, the government should mitigate this problem by migrating people to smaller regional towns to reduce the population densities. To begin with, people who live in a big city may be late at works due to the heavy traffics, and it may become worse if it is rainy that day. In addition, with the large densities of traffic, the accident is inevitable, and the hospital may be overload due to the overpopulation. On the other hand, the more traffic the more carbon-dioxide is produced to the air, and the more citizen is vulnerable to numerous serious disease involving lung and heart. Moreover, noise pollution also a serious problem with some older people since they are sensitive to noise. The government should take an action to mitigate these problems by encouraging the resident to migrate to the smaller regional towns. Firstly, the reason why people love to live in a big city is that they have more well-paid jobs. Therefore, the authority should attract more company to build their office in a town. In addition, the convenient shops and highway street should be constructed for bringing the comfortable to the citizen in their daily activity. They also need to build the schools with qualitative facilities to attract parents and make them believe that this town is a good place to raise their children. In conclusion, it is undeniable that living in a large city brings many advantages. However, the citizen today are dealing with many problems in their everyday life. Therefore, I personally believe that the government should encourage them to migrate to smaller towns by building more facilities to attract them.
Nowadays, the overgrowth of population brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
daily life.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution are the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a large city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with. In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should mitigate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by migrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to smaller regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the population densities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city may be late at works due to the heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffics
, and it may become worse if it is rainy that day.
In addition
, with the large densities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, the accident is inevitable, and the hospital may be overload due to the overpopulation.
On the other hand
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
the more carbon-dioxide
is produced
to the air, and the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
is vulnerable to numerous serious disease involving lung and heart.
Moreover
, noise pollution
also
a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since they are sensitive to noise.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take an action to mitigate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by encouraging the resident to migrate to the smaller regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
.
Firstly
, the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city is that they have more well-paid jobs.
Therefore
, the authority should attract more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to build their office in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
In addition
, the convenient shops and highway street should
be constructed
for bringing the comfortable to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
in their daily activity. They
also
need to build the schools with qualitative facilities to attract parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place to raise their children.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that living in a large city brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are dealing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in their everyday life.
Therefore
, I
personally
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage them to migrate to smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
by building more facilities to attract them.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life What are these problems Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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