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Nowadays people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. What might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.2

Nowadays people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. What might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 2
Today, most of the people are more inclined to establish their own occupation than ever before. This approach benefits them from more job security and freedom. Nonetheless, there are also consequences in this choice, which should not be undermined. It is an indisputable fact that the past decades have seen a considerable growth in the number of companies and organization, leading to more competition. In this situation, employers look for staff with extraordinary qualifications to overwhelm them with a wide variety of responsibilities and tight schedule. Many employees, as a result, prefer to find their own niche by being self-employed. Having the ability to manage their work, people would have more free time to spend for other aspects of life such as family, recreational activities and traveling without being manipulated by a principal. However, it is crucial to consider this fact that this method has brought about major consequences. As people who work for themselves are alone most of the times, they can’t find enough opportunities to communicate with others. This results in detrimental effects their mental health, causing disorders such as depression and anxiety. It also gives them a sense of alienation, distancing them from their society. Furthermore, there is a high risk of collapse and losing business in this term. If entrepreneurs don’t have the knowledge of running a business, they will face serious challenges to tackle which can even culminate in bankruptcy. By way of conclusion, being self-employed is going to be an increasing trend among members of society. In spite of its considerable advantages in terms of freedom and job security, the downside should not be forgotten.
Today
, most of the
people
are more inclined to establish their
own
occupation than ever
before
. This approach benefits them from more job security and freedom. Nonetheless, there are
also
consequences in this choice, which should not
be undermined
.

It is an indisputable fact that the past decades have
seen
a considerable growth in the number of
companies
and organization, leading to more competition. In this situation, employers look for staff with extraordinary qualifications to overwhelm them with a wide variety of responsibilities and tight schedule.
Many
employees,
as a result
, prefer to find their
own
niche by being self-employed. Having the ability to manage their work,
people
would have more free time to spend for other aspects of life such as family, recreational activities and traveling without
being manipulated
by a principal.

However
, it is crucial to consider this fact that this method has brought about major consequences. As
people
who work for themselves are alone
most of the times
, they can’t find
enough
opportunities to communicate with others. This results in detrimental effects their mental health, causing disorders such as depression and anxiety. It
also
gives them a sense of alienation, distancing them from their society.
Furthermore
, there is a high
risk
of collapse and losing business in this term. If entrepreneurs don’t have the knowledge of running a business, they will face serious challenges to tackle which can even culminate in bankruptcy.

By way of conclusion, being self-employed is going to be an increasing trend among members of society.
In spite of
its considerable advantages in terms of freedom and job security, the downside should not
be forgotten
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. What might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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