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People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns? v.4

People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns? v. 4
In the contemporary world, along with the urbanisation, people's lives have become more difficult with various aspects. Some of them can be named as low quality of basic amenities, space constraints and lack of social security. Following essay will discuss these difficulties in details and come to a conclusion whether the governments should take actions to promote people to live in suburban areas instead of large cities. Firstly, lack of breathing space is one of the burning issues that residents are facing in big towns. Large crowds are living in smaller areas due to this reason and it causes pollution in the surrounding environment. The children of these families get sick all the time because of poor hygiene situations in their vicinity. Secondly, crime rates will go up in these areas by putting residents in danger. For example, juvenile delinquency will be much higher compared to other areas which are less crowded. Thirdly, the government may not be able to provide proper infrastructure in these locations such as better roads, water, electricity or better drainage systems. This will get the situation much worse as it will directly affect people's health. The local authorities can take various actions to minimise such situations. They can take initiatives to improve important infrastructure, transportation, healthcare and education in suburban areas so urban citizens will encourage to shift out of the city with better standards. For instance, people tend to shift to regional cities to raise their children as most of them are fed up with the hectic city lives. In conclusion, rapid growth of the urbanisation will put people's lives in danger in many ways and the only solution to overcome this situation is to move out to suburban locations. It's indispensable that the aforementioned government interferences to encourage citizens to move out of the larger cities to suburbs.
In the contemporary world, along with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have become more difficult with various aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them can
be named
as low quality of basic amenities, space constraints and lack of social security. Following essay will discuss these difficulties in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a conclusion whether the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take actions to promote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
instead
of large cities.

Firstly
, lack of breathing space is one of the burning issues that residents are facing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
towns. Large crowds are living in smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
due to this reason and it causes pollution in the surrounding environment. The children of these families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick all the time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poor hygiene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
in their vicinity.
Secondly
, crime rates will go up in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
by putting residents in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
For example
, juvenile delinquency will be much higher compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which are less crowded.
Thirdly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
may not be able to provide proper infrastructure in these locations such as better roads, water, electricity or better drainage systems. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
much worse
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
it will
directly
affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.

The local authorities can take various actions to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. They can take initiatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
infrastructure, transportation, healthcare and education in suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
urban citizens will encourage
Did you mean "shifting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to shift
out of the city with better standards.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to shift to regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to raise their children as most of them
are fed
up with the hectic city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, rapid growth of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
will put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to overcome this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out to suburban locations. It's indispensable that the aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
interferences to encourage citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of the larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to suburbs.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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