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Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.21

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. v. 21
In the salad days of the millennium, the society is polarised into two groups almost equally. Regarding the notion that, whether environment protection is the duty of the government or its responsibility for individuals. However, different people have their distinct mindset. From my standpoint, it will be more beneficial if both the country’s authorities and individuals share the burden. The following paragraphs would cast light on both the approaches before making a final note. On the one hand, some people feel that everyone of us should take care of our safety as police cannot be present everywhere at all times and this is true. For instance, the thefts could occur in shops. The police cannot be present there all the time to prevent such incidents. Hence, it is the liability of the shop owners to take preventive measures such as installing an alarm or placing guards outside the shop. Customers also need to take care of their belongings to ensure that they are not robbed. Such measures can prevent many criminal acts from occurring. Thus, it is evident that each individual has a responsibility to ensure their safety. On the other hand, there is a limit to what a person can do on their own. Only governments can enforce strict laws to keep the crime rate in check. Stringent laws will act as a deterrent and reduce the misdeed rate to a great extent. For example, in the Middle East (write: the Middle East) the punishments for each and every corruption are so harsh that people do not dare to break any laws; as a result the crime rate in the Middle Eastern countries is the lowest in the world, whereas in India the crime percentage keeps on rising year after year because the laws are lenient and more often than not the criminals are let off very easily. Unfortunately, this encourages others to commit misdeed. Hence, the state has to own up the responsibility and enforce stern laws that will discourage people from committing crimes. In conclusion, due to the large amount of work involved, mobilising all the possible forces is a more sensible approach. It is, therefore, likely that joint efforts of both the governments and their citizens would result in the most effective way of preserving the climate.
In the salad days of the millennium, the society is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
into two groups almost
equally
. Regarding the notion that, whether environment protection is the duty of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or its responsibility for individuals.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their distinct mindset. From my standpoint, it will be more beneficial if both the country’s authorities and individuals share the burden. The following paragraphs would cast light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a final note.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
of us should take care of our safety as police cannot be present everywhere at all times and this is true.
For instance
, the thefts could occur in shops. The police cannot be present there all the time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such incidents.
Hence
, it is the liability of the shop owners to take preventive measures such as installing an alarm or placing guards outside the shop. Customers
also
need to take care of their belongings to ensure that they are not robbed. Such measures can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criminal acts from occurring.
Thus
, it is evident that each individual has a responsibility to ensure their safety.

On the other hand
, there is a limit to what a person can do on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can enforce strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the crime rate in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
. Stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
will act as a deterrent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the misdeed rate to a great extent.
For example
, in the Middle East (write: the Middle East) the punishments for each and every corruption are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
harsh that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not dare to break any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
;
as a result
the crime rate in the Middle Eastern countries is the lowest in the world, whereas in India the crime percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on rising year after year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
are lenient and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not the criminals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
. Unfortunately, this encourages others to commit misdeed.
Hence
, the state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
up the responsibility and enforce stern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
that will discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from committing crimes.

In conclusion
, due to the large amount of work involved,
Possible spelling mistake. 'mobilising' is British English.
mobilising
all the possible forces is a more sensible approach. It is,
therefore
, likely that joint efforts of both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and their citizens would result in the most effective way of preserving the climate.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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