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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v.2

In recent days, communities believe that moving to big cities will be beneficial because there are abundances of facilities and job vacancies. in spite of the fact that this will lead to many problems. In my opinion, it is obvious that problems causing by overpopulation in a city absolutely rise such as diseases as the impact of pollution and crime which is lead by the increasing rate of unemployment. First and foremost, diseases will easily spread in crowded and slum houses. This is because of the unequal number of land for people moving to cities which subsequently causing a high price for houses. Unfortunately, they will choose a cheaper house in a dirty environment and usually, the education of the neighborhoods is low. Finally, the community in this area will disregard the cleanliness leading to an unhealthy environment. Secondly, crime is the other problem as a result of a dense population. As the people hardly find a decent job for their living and inflation is growing up, a detrimental effect for moral and attitude caused by pressures of living is revealed. People will ignore the law punishment such as fines or jail as long as they can survive by doing harmful delinquency. For instance, those villains are choosing to pick-pocketing or robbery unless they get a job. Although it is obvious that health and crime problems are not always affected by the city's overpopulation, the government should consider the substantial dangerous drawbacks caused by moving to cities. As a solution, the government requires to regulate the movement of people from the original suburb to urban.
In recent days, communities believe that moving to
big
cities
will be beneficial
because
there are abundances of facilities and job vacancies.
in
spite of the fact that this will lead to
many
problems
. In my opinion, it is obvious that
problems
causing by overpopulation in a city
absolutely
rise such as diseases as the impact of pollution and crime which is lead by the increasing rate of unemployment.

First
and foremost, diseases will
easily
spread in crowded and slum
houses
. This is
because
of the unequal number of land for
people
moving to
cities
which
subsequently
causing a high price for
houses
. Unfortunately, they will choose a cheaper
house
in a dirty environment and
usually
, the education of the neighborhoods is low.
Finally
, the community in this area will disregard the cleanliness leading to an unhealthy environment.

Secondly
, crime is the other
problem
as a result
of a dense population. As the
people
hardly find a decent job for their living and inflation is growing up, a detrimental effect for moral and attitude caused by pressures of living
is revealed
.
People
will
ignore
the law punishment such as fines or jail as long as they can survive by doing harmful delinquency.
For instance
, those villains are choosing to pick-pocketing or robbery unless they
get
a job.

Although it is obvious that health and crime
problems
are not always
affected
by the city's overpopulation, the
government
should consider the substantial
dangerous
drawbacks caused by moving to
cities
. As a solution, the
government
requires to regulate the movement of
people
from the original suburb to urban.
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IELTS essay People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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